Only the Horses Can Bring Us Back Home
Mena Canonico, Canada
It’s a song lyric in Only the Horses by Scissor Sisters. And in my experience, it’s TRUTH.
My love affair with horses began when I was six. We had moved to a hobby farm, and I would admire the neighbour’s horses across the fence. Then, I read Black Beauty. “Mom, Dad, can you buy me a horse?” I persisted relentlessly and was overjoyed when Dad brought Lady home one day. As someone who believed I was unlovable, I felt LOVED. That changed after a traumatic experience with Lady. Feeling powerless and abandoned, I withdrew. At eighteen, my parents divorced and sold the farm, severing my connection with horses.
Years later, my soul felt like it was dying when I finally took a leap of faith and left corporate, despite my fear and self-doubt. All I had to go on was a declaration I had made during a leadership program just before I gave my notice: I was born at this time in history to show people how to take off their masks and be real. Little did I know that horses would come galloping back into my life after twenty-four years or that they could help us connect to who we REALLY are and what we are truly capable of. It was a fifteen-year-old girl in Florida who connected with me (via a previous business) and shared that horses had saved her life. This re-ignited my love affair with horses and helped me see that I was meant to partner with them to help women build their confidence. I then made it my mission to overcome my fear of horses and committed to growing in as many ways as possible. This found me travelling the world meeting people and horses who would play a pivotal role in my evolution and expansion. When I found my dream team, or they found me, I knew that my evolution was about to go to the next level.
Take a magical walk with the Freedom Herd and me and explore how horses can guide us through necessary transitions that lead us home and to our soul’s calling.
Years later, my soul felt like it was dying when I finally took a leap of faith and left corporate, despite my fear and self-doubt. All I had to go on was a declaration I had made during a leadership program just before I gave my notice: I was born at this time in history to show people how to take off their masks and be real. Little did I know that horses would come galloping back into my life after twenty-four years or that they could help us connect to who we REALLY are and what we are truly capable of. It was a fifteen-year-old girl in Florida who connected with me (via a previous business) and shared that horses had saved her life. This re-ignited my love affair with horses and helped me see that I was meant to partner with them to help women build their confidence. I then made it my mission to overcome my fear of horses and committed to growing in as many ways as possible. This found me travelling the world meeting people and horses who would play a pivotal role in my evolution and expansion. When I found my dream team, or they found me, I knew that my evolution was about to go to the next level.
Take a magical walk with the Freedom Herd and me and explore how horses can guide us through necessary transitions that lead us home and to our soul’s calling.
Why the Freedom Herd
Shiloh started it all when I was inspired to commit to him (and my dream of a retreat centre with horses) in April 2015. By late May, I found the horses that I intuitively felt would be a good fit in terms of supporting my mission. By July 1st, I moved from a one-bedroom apartment to a 30-acre property, and had seven horses join me in less than a week.
Most of them had come from challenging backgrounds. Dream - a stocky, blue-eyed Tobiano Paint - had a particularly traumatic journey before finding his way to us. As I was grooming him one day and reflecting on what he had gone through, it hit me: he was going to be amazing at helping people who had experienced trauma in their lives.
This led to naming them the Freedom Herd. I recognized that they were now free to step into their new purpose: helping people (including myself) liberate themselves from disempowering beliefs and demonstrating that no matter what challenges they may have experienced, their trauma is often directly connected to their purpose.
Shiloh started it all when I was inspired to commit to him (and my dream of a retreat centre with horses) in April 2015. By late May, I found the horses that I intuitively felt would be a good fit in terms of supporting my mission. By July 1st, I moved from a one-bedroom apartment to a 30-acre property, and had seven horses join me in less than a week.
Most of them had come from challenging backgrounds. Dream - a stocky, blue-eyed Tobiano Paint - had a particularly traumatic journey before finding his way to us. As I was grooming him one day and reflecting on what he had gone through, it hit me: he was going to be amazing at helping people who had experienced trauma in their lives.
This led to naming them the Freedom Herd. I recognized that they were now free to step into their new purpose: helping people (including myself) liberate themselves from disempowering beliefs and demonstrating that no matter what challenges they may have experienced, their trauma is often directly connected to their purpose.
Shiloh Showers Us with Gifts
It happened less than forty minutes before a group would be arriving for an event called Presence in the Paddock. Shiloh, my heart horse and a master teacher, chose to wait for me to arrive at the barn before he transitioned. Aware that some participants were already en route, I knew he wanted the show to go on.
I was in complete awe, as I realized the sheer magnitude of his pure and ultimate LOVE, not just for me but for everyone there that day. It seemed he orchestrated every aspect of his departure, including the day and time, for the highest good for everyone.
Shiloh passed naturally rather than have me call the vet. This was profound, because before I became his guardian, I had to let go of the illusion that I was responsible for the death of the animals on the farm when I was a child. His timing allowed me to have a community around me, so I didn’t have to face his departure alone. This magnificent being provided the opportunity to see what I was truly capable of, as I practiced being truly present and authentic, while doing what I was born to do, less than an hour after his transition. Also, each participant was in the midst of some form of transition, and he ensured that each received the gift and message intended specifically for them. For those who had worked with him previously, it was also a gift to offer him a ceremony, celebrating, and thanking him as we said our goodbyes.
I never imagined Shiloh would be with us for only five years; this, and the fact that he passed less than a year after my mom died, reactivated my old abandonment story. The two of them had been my biggest supporters, my pillars. Even in my grief, he inspired me to delve deep into the truth. What I came to discover is that every soul is responsible for their journey, and we can never really be abandoned because it is an ego-mind concept. Both my mother and Shiloh chose the timing perfectly to help me realize I was strong enough to be my own pillar.
It happened less than forty minutes before a group would be arriving for an event called Presence in the Paddock. Shiloh, my heart horse and a master teacher, chose to wait for me to arrive at the barn before he transitioned. Aware that some participants were already en route, I knew he wanted the show to go on.
I was in complete awe, as I realized the sheer magnitude of his pure and ultimate LOVE, not just for me but for everyone there that day. It seemed he orchestrated every aspect of his departure, including the day and time, for the highest good for everyone.
Shiloh passed naturally rather than have me call the vet. This was profound, because before I became his guardian, I had to let go of the illusion that I was responsible for the death of the animals on the farm when I was a child. His timing allowed me to have a community around me, so I didn’t have to face his departure alone. This magnificent being provided the opportunity to see what I was truly capable of, as I practiced being truly present and authentic, while doing what I was born to do, less than an hour after his transition. Also, each participant was in the midst of some form of transition, and he ensured that each received the gift and message intended specifically for them. For those who had worked with him previously, it was also a gift to offer him a ceremony, celebrating, and thanking him as we said our goodbyes.
I never imagined Shiloh would be with us for only five years; this, and the fact that he passed less than a year after my mom died, reactivated my old abandonment story. The two of them had been my biggest supporters, my pillars. Even in my grief, he inspired me to delve deep into the truth. What I came to discover is that every soul is responsible for their journey, and we can never really be abandoned because it is an ego-mind concept. Both my mother and Shiloh chose the timing perfectly to help me realize I was strong enough to be my own pillar.
Renate’s Dream
The horses and I have been working with an inspiring seventy-two year-old woman for over a year. A horse lover from an early age and a widow for over thirty-two years, Renate expressed that her dream was to retire from her job and move forward with her business of coaching with horses. She had already completed an equine coaching certification program, but a diagnosis of Parkinson’s Disease then stopped her in her tracks.
Eventually, she was ready to declare that she wanted to retire within six months. During one profound session, as we focused on finding invisible beliefs that were blocking her from taking her leap, Dream stepped forward to assist us in seeing what we could not yet see.
As the other horses walked to another paddock (knowing he was taking this one), Dream stayed behind to work one-on-one with her. We explored with curiosity what message he might have for her. Renate’s breakthrough, or aha moment, came when she realized that she had believed that she was responsible for her husband’s sudden, unexpected death more than thirty years earlier. As she had also lost many beloved animals, her heart was “locked up tight.”
Dream gave Renate an experience of feeling supported by his powerful yet gentle, strong, and solid presence. This magnificent being wanted her to see herself as he saw her. He helped her recognize how resilient and capable she had been as a single, independent mom and that she is still supported by her mom and husband in spirit, who are always with her.
Until that moment, Renate had believed that she wasn’t allowed to live after her husband died. As she saw the blind spot and let go of the belief that created guilt, Renate connected with the truth the understanding that she was allowed to do work and have relationships that brought her joy. She also acknowledged that she could go for it and be happy and successful too!
Dream stayed by her side until she learned that it’s ok to live and open her heart to experience love in its many forms. He even hugged her! As soon as he knew the message was heard and his job was complete, he walked away to join the herd.
Renate went from feeling depressed and stuck to living in gratitude and awe. She met her retirement goal and is squarely on the path of living her calling. She has begun working with clients and is excited to continue partnering with horses and sharing their gifts to help others find freedom.
The horses and I have been working with an inspiring seventy-two year-old woman for over a year. A horse lover from an early age and a widow for over thirty-two years, Renate expressed that her dream was to retire from her job and move forward with her business of coaching with horses. She had already completed an equine coaching certification program, but a diagnosis of Parkinson’s Disease then stopped her in her tracks.
Eventually, she was ready to declare that she wanted to retire within six months. During one profound session, as we focused on finding invisible beliefs that were blocking her from taking her leap, Dream stepped forward to assist us in seeing what we could not yet see.
As the other horses walked to another paddock (knowing he was taking this one), Dream stayed behind to work one-on-one with her. We explored with curiosity what message he might have for her. Renate’s breakthrough, or aha moment, came when she realized that she had believed that she was responsible for her husband’s sudden, unexpected death more than thirty years earlier. As she had also lost many beloved animals, her heart was “locked up tight.”
Dream gave Renate an experience of feeling supported by his powerful yet gentle, strong, and solid presence. This magnificent being wanted her to see herself as he saw her. He helped her recognize how resilient and capable she had been as a single, independent mom and that she is still supported by her mom and husband in spirit, who are always with her.
Until that moment, Renate had believed that she wasn’t allowed to live after her husband died. As she saw the blind spot and let go of the belief that created guilt, Renate connected with the truth the understanding that she was allowed to do work and have relationships that brought her joy. She also acknowledged that she could go for it and be happy and successful too!
Dream stayed by her side until she learned that it’s ok to live and open her heart to experience love in its many forms. He even hugged her! As soon as he knew the message was heard and his job was complete, he walked away to join the herd.
Renate went from feeling depressed and stuck to living in gratitude and awe. She met her retirement goal and is squarely on the path of living her calling. She has begun working with clients and is excited to continue partnering with horses and sharing their gifts to help others find freedom.
Anya Shares her Message with Chase
Chase is a young woman who felt called to work more deeply with the Freedom Herd after a group workshop experience.
Wise beyond her years, she wanted to quit her job of seven years and gain clarity around her purpose. During her first private session, as we walked up the hill in the paddock, a few horses greeted her and shared powerful messages.
Once we got to the top of the hill, all the horses gathered. It was Anya, an Arabian Paint (and also Dream’s girlfriend), who stepped up most profoundly. Facing Chase, with her head down and eyes soft, she started breathing so heavily that it sounded like she was snoring. I am not even making this up!
In that instant, Chase connected to how tired she was, always on the go, and working at a job she no longer loved. As Anya stood still, Chase also relaxed enough to receive the message that it’s totally OK to stop, rest, and just BE. There’s no hurry to figure it all out.
As we completed the session, we began walking down the hill. Anya left Dream and started following Chase. She had one more nugget to deliver: “It’s ok to go out and do your own thing sometimes.” Anya’s trademark is that she is 100% unapologetically herself. As a sassy mare, she may squeal, pin her ears, and even throw out a kick, yet she knows that Dream will love her for exactly who she is. It wasn’t long before he started following her down the hill too. Chase saw that she could be herself rather than try to please others, whether at work or with a boyfriend. By the end of the experience, Chase was breathing easier and felt lighter, having released anxiety and pressure.
Fast forward a year later, Chase shared that she was done lying to herself and gave her notice. She just recently completed her yoga teacher training and is now feeling aligned and excited about launching her new yoga business.
Chase is a young woman who felt called to work more deeply with the Freedom Herd after a group workshop experience.
Wise beyond her years, she wanted to quit her job of seven years and gain clarity around her purpose. During her first private session, as we walked up the hill in the paddock, a few horses greeted her and shared powerful messages.
Once we got to the top of the hill, all the horses gathered. It was Anya, an Arabian Paint (and also Dream’s girlfriend), who stepped up most profoundly. Facing Chase, with her head down and eyes soft, she started breathing so heavily that it sounded like she was snoring. I am not even making this up!
In that instant, Chase connected to how tired she was, always on the go, and working at a job she no longer loved. As Anya stood still, Chase also relaxed enough to receive the message that it’s totally OK to stop, rest, and just BE. There’s no hurry to figure it all out.
As we completed the session, we began walking down the hill. Anya left Dream and started following Chase. She had one more nugget to deliver: “It’s ok to go out and do your own thing sometimes.” Anya’s trademark is that she is 100% unapologetically herself. As a sassy mare, she may squeal, pin her ears, and even throw out a kick, yet she knows that Dream will love her for exactly who she is. It wasn’t long before he started following her down the hill too. Chase saw that she could be herself rather than try to please others, whether at work or with a boyfriend. By the end of the experience, Chase was breathing easier and felt lighter, having released anxiety and pressure.
Fast forward a year later, Chase shared that she was done lying to herself and gave her notice. She just recently completed her yoga teacher training and is now feeling aligned and excited about launching her new yoga business.
Hijacked by Self-doubt
The horses made their fifth move on our ninth anniversary together this past July. While the next two months were filled with uncertainty, the Freedom Herd ultimately led us home, and for the first time in seven years, we are all now living together on the same property.
My partner and I have been busy unpacking, organizing, and making enhancements to the property; it’s been intense and exhausting. Honestly, writing this story was not making the top of the list. With the deadline looming, I finally carved out time to write. I observed the familiar ego-mind chatter that came up. “You’re not a good writer. What made you think you could do this? This is hard. You’re not smart enough. Everyone else is a better writer. There are so many other things you should be doing. You don’t have time for this.” I wanted to quit; thankfully, I knew that quitting is a program and being exhausted wasn’t helping. I went to sleep and gave Ego a rest too.
The next morning, I went out to the horses for clarity. Anya faced me and started yawning, which helped me release tension. Haven was at the fence, calling me to him. As I walked towards him, Dream and Anya took their spot along the fence too. Shaman, Apollo, Liberty, and Mia also turned and headed towards me, all with their heads held high. What a breathtaking sight and what a feeling! Tears rolled down my cheeks, as the knowing that I MUST write washed over me. They were making it clear: “We have your back and you can do it.” And one hundred percent on purpose, Anya offered an extra nudge and started pawing at the gate impatiently, as if to say, “Go, get to it!”
As I finish writing this on a snowy, winter day, I’m looking out the sunroom window at the Freedom Herd. And my soul is beyond grateful that only the horses can bring us back home. ~*~
Hijacked by Self-doubt
The horses made their fifth move on our ninth anniversary together this past July. While the next two months were filled with uncertainty, the Freedom Herd ultimately led us home, and for the first time in seven years, we are all now living together on the same property.
My partner and I have been busy unpacking, organizing, and making enhancements to the property; it’s been intense and exhausting. Honestly, writing this story was not making the top of the list. With the deadline looming, I finally carved out time to write. I observed the familiar ego-mind chatter that came up. “You’re not a good writer. What made you think you could do this? This is hard. You’re not smart enough. Everyone else is a better writer. There are so many other things you should be doing. You don’t have time for this.” I wanted to quit; thankfully, I knew that quitting is a program and being exhausted wasn’t helping. I went to sleep and gave Ego a rest too.
The next morning, I went out to the horses for clarity. Anya faced me and started yawning, which helped me release tension. Haven was at the fence, calling me to him. As I walked towards him, Dream and Anya took their spot along the fence too. Shaman, Apollo, Liberty, and Mia also turned and headed towards me, all with their heads held high. What a breathtaking sight and what a feeling! Tears rolled down my cheeks, as the knowing that I MUST write washed over me. They were making it clear: “We have your back and you can do it.” And one hundred percent on purpose, Anya offered an extra nudge and started pawing at the gate impatiently, as if to say, “Go, get to it!”
As I finish writing this on a snowy, winter day, I’m looking out the sunroom window at the Freedom Herd. And my soul is beyond grateful that only the horses can bring us back home. ~*~
