The Three Grey Ponies
A Story Written in the Stars
By Jac, Pixie, Jojo and Georgie McBurney, UK
Pixie
“It does not surprise me that you have horses in your life. You are Sagittarius, the centaur, you are half-horse” -astrologer, Lotta Stenbacka revealed.
As a child, I wished on many a star for a horse. I attempted to fulfil that wish through various careers, but they led me down other paths. By the time I was middle-aged, those directions included soldier, police officer, science teacher, animal care lecturer, programme leader for equine management, holistic therapist, and kinship foster carer. My more chaotic life experiences included divorces, alcohol and drug addictions, abuse, murder, and psychosis. Further challenges of missing persons, sectioning, burnout, home losses, isolation, betrayal, and injustice added to life’s turmoil. By then, my childhood wishes were long forgotten, but they had not forgotten me as the first of three grey ponies, Jac, entered my life. Jac looked like a white unicorn kissed by freckles. Through the stars, I would come to understand my connection to these three grey ponies.
As astrology can offer insight into relationships, challenges, life purpose, and personality, I met with astrologer, Lotta Stenbacka, who translates the language of the stars. After studying my charts, she shared that my outward persona is influenced by the constellation of stars known as Sagittarius, depicted as a centaur; half-horse, half-man, symbolising chaos and order, instinct and intellect, adventurer and truth-seeking. My core personality, influenced by Capricorn, is represented as half-goat, half-fish, symbolising terrestrial and aquatic, resilience and emotional depth, material and spiritual. My subconscious or emotional nature is influenced by Scorpio, the scorpion, who, in mythology, was sent by Mother Earth to deal with narcissism and the destruction of nature. This was all very insightful.
Jac
The First Grey Pony
Jac came into my life during an accumulation of constant challenges. The cost of my being resilient was that I held onto my emotions; consequently, this caused physical mobility issues. Jac witnessed this and provided safety to reveal my true self, which allowed my emotions to be released and my mobility to improve. I began counsellor training, and by the time it was completed, the people in my life were gone. In contrast, Jac and I were constant, which was tested when I was presented with a choice: Jac or my home. Jac is home: the rest will sort itself out. Now a counsellor, Jac became my new work partner. He is so good with people and can detect hidden energies. Observing his work, I became more confident in using my intuition, and then our communication became telepathic. Jac was blind in one eye, which honed his other senses, but it also made me protective of his well-being. Jac helped me navigate the psychological impact of the pandemic and a reunion with an estranged family member. Astrologically, Jac presented as significant in my life, and I wondered how it was from his perspective and asked if Lotta could do his chart.
Jac’s outer persona is Sagittarius. His core personality is Pisces. His subconscious is Gemini. This combination created a sensitive, intuitive, and telepathic soul that could be a great teacher. In this life, Jac was here to work on himself. He would have found learning hard in his youth and been frustrated until he figured out how to communicate. Adding to this challenge, he had an astrological wounding of not being a bigger horse, so he could not always use physical strength to make his point. Jac had the gift of seeing the underdog and disliked injustice. He has moved from home to home, place to place, but this was not a struggle. Comparing our charts, Lotta exclaimed, “Wow! You have a karmic destiny to fulfil together." We were on the same wavelength with love and how we related to others. My emotional nature helped him accept his smaller stature, and my psychic ability helped him feel heard. His nature encouraged me to be visible and stabilise my inner wounds.
One of the hardest times to face as an animal guardian, is when their death day draws close. When the time came, Jac asked for my help, and I repeatedly questioned if I had this right. I involved him in the process from when to make the call to how he wanted to spend his last days. He wanted to eat grass and enjoy the early spring weather. I kept him company during the day, and his human friends visited to celebrate his life and share their favourite stories of him. On his last morning, we tied ribbons, representing love and blessings, into his mane and tail. He had his last tasty meal before his body fell to the ground and broke my heart, as I knew it would. I carried blame and guilt as part of my grieving process. Lotta looked at his departure day and smiled sadly; certain celestial bodies had lined up so “Jac was positive on this day and blessed. He had completed his soul journey by becoming a teacher, so he was released to do whatever the future holds for him." Hearing this brought some order to the chaos of loss.
Jac came into my life during an accumulation of constant challenges. The cost of my being resilient was that I held onto my emotions; consequently, this caused physical mobility issues. Jac witnessed this and provided safety to reveal my true self, which allowed my emotions to be released and my mobility to improve. I began counsellor training, and by the time it was completed, the people in my life were gone. In contrast, Jac and I were constant, which was tested when I was presented with a choice: Jac or my home. Jac is home: the rest will sort itself out. Now a counsellor, Jac became my new work partner. He is so good with people and can detect hidden energies. Observing his work, I became more confident in using my intuition, and then our communication became telepathic. Jac was blind in one eye, which honed his other senses, but it also made me protective of his well-being. Jac helped me navigate the psychological impact of the pandemic and a reunion with an estranged family member. Astrologically, Jac presented as significant in my life, and I wondered how it was from his perspective and asked if Lotta could do his chart.
Jac’s outer persona is Sagittarius. His core personality is Pisces. His subconscious is Gemini. This combination created a sensitive, intuitive, and telepathic soul that could be a great teacher. In this life, Jac was here to work on himself. He would have found learning hard in his youth and been frustrated until he figured out how to communicate. Adding to this challenge, he had an astrological wounding of not being a bigger horse, so he could not always use physical strength to make his point. Jac had the gift of seeing the underdog and disliked injustice. He has moved from home to home, place to place, but this was not a struggle. Comparing our charts, Lotta exclaimed, “Wow! You have a karmic destiny to fulfil together." We were on the same wavelength with love and how we related to others. My emotional nature helped him accept his smaller stature, and my psychic ability helped him feel heard. His nature encouraged me to be visible and stabilise my inner wounds.
One of the hardest times to face as an animal guardian, is when their death day draws close. When the time came, Jac asked for my help, and I repeatedly questioned if I had this right. I involved him in the process from when to make the call to how he wanted to spend his last days. He wanted to eat grass and enjoy the early spring weather. I kept him company during the day, and his human friends visited to celebrate his life and share their favourite stories of him. On his last morning, we tied ribbons, representing love and blessings, into his mane and tail. He had his last tasty meal before his body fell to the ground and broke my heart, as I knew it would. I carried blame and guilt as part of my grieving process. Lotta looked at his departure day and smiled sadly; certain celestial bodies had lined up so “Jac was positive on this day and blessed. He had completed his soul journey by becoming a teacher, so he was released to do whatever the future holds for him." Hearing this brought some order to the chaos of loss.
Pixie
The Second Grey Pony
In his last year, Jac had been involved in the parenting of a small grey foal called Pixie. Pixie spent time on Jac’s blind side, which had been quite helpful to him. When Pixie was a yearling, she was up for sale, and I found myself upset at the whole situation. I was resolved that Jac was my one and only. I wanted to buy her, but financially there were challenges, and my mobility was still problematic. However, one day I went to call Jac in for his supper, and, unusual for her, Pixie came running in with him. It seemed she was aware I was her new guardian.
Pixie was joy personified, and she reacquainted me with that lost emotion. She was curious, and seeing the world through her young eyes challenged my old fear-based beliefs. Unlike Jac, whose conversation was fluid, Pixie was young, so we had to learn each other’s languages. To make it easier, I simplified my language use and used pictures from my mind to hers to help understanding. She would run up to alert me to the unknowns, such as a boat on the ocean. I knew she had seen a car on the road, so I said out loud, “Like a car, but in the water, with a human inside,” whilst thinking of images of a car, in the water and a human inside. She would stare, fascinated, calmer.
One day the tooth fairy stopped visiting, and Pixie was now full-grown; smaller than Jac but made bigger by her feistiness. She would push through the herd of horses to get to me, rather than go around respectfully. The guardian of Pixie’s mother got in touch one day. She acquainted me with their family tree and sent a video of Pixie’s birth. Pixie was born brown like her mother but had turned grey with a black mane and tail to match her father. He was a show stallion, who won in the annual Royal Welsh Pony and Cob Show a year before Pixie was born. The show honours the Welsh pony breeds now ‘at risk’ of extinction. I have gaps in my own family tree knowledge, so it was interesting to learn all about Pixie’s. I obtained her Welsh pony passport shortly after discovering her parent’s heritage. We also entered a couple of fun shows to see how Pixie felt about them. She seemed to like the buzz far more than I did, and when home, she ran around the track to tell the herd about it.
Pixie’s outer persona is Sagittarius. Her core personality is Taurus, and her subconscious is Leo. This combination creates a strong-willed, charming, and joyful individual. She is robust and likes space to move and be physically active in short bursts. “If human,”, Lotta pondered, “she would like winning prizes or having status symbols around her to help her self-expression.” I wondered if I should hang her show medals on a nearby tree for her to see, but that was more likely to be a choking hazard. Pixie has an astrological wounding in relationships of not feeling safe. Our chart comparison shows strong synastry, a destiny to be together; I am her guide in life, and she supports my healing. Pixie can struggle to express herself, resulting in stored-up emotions that surface as big reactions. My psychic nature supports her feeling heard and feeling safe and secure in a relationship. My boundaries and structure support her living out her soul purpose of self-expression.
In his last year, Jac had been involved in the parenting of a small grey foal called Pixie. Pixie spent time on Jac’s blind side, which had been quite helpful to him. When Pixie was a yearling, she was up for sale, and I found myself upset at the whole situation. I was resolved that Jac was my one and only. I wanted to buy her, but financially there were challenges, and my mobility was still problematic. However, one day I went to call Jac in for his supper, and, unusual for her, Pixie came running in with him. It seemed she was aware I was her new guardian.
Pixie was joy personified, and she reacquainted me with that lost emotion. She was curious, and seeing the world through her young eyes challenged my old fear-based beliefs. Unlike Jac, whose conversation was fluid, Pixie was young, so we had to learn each other’s languages. To make it easier, I simplified my language use and used pictures from my mind to hers to help understanding. She would run up to alert me to the unknowns, such as a boat on the ocean. I knew she had seen a car on the road, so I said out loud, “Like a car, but in the water, with a human inside,” whilst thinking of images of a car, in the water and a human inside. She would stare, fascinated, calmer.
One day the tooth fairy stopped visiting, and Pixie was now full-grown; smaller than Jac but made bigger by her feistiness. She would push through the herd of horses to get to me, rather than go around respectfully. The guardian of Pixie’s mother got in touch one day. She acquainted me with their family tree and sent a video of Pixie’s birth. Pixie was born brown like her mother but had turned grey with a black mane and tail to match her father. He was a show stallion, who won in the annual Royal Welsh Pony and Cob Show a year before Pixie was born. The show honours the Welsh pony breeds now ‘at risk’ of extinction. I have gaps in my own family tree knowledge, so it was interesting to learn all about Pixie’s. I obtained her Welsh pony passport shortly after discovering her parent’s heritage. We also entered a couple of fun shows to see how Pixie felt about them. She seemed to like the buzz far more than I did, and when home, she ran around the track to tell the herd about it.
Pixie’s outer persona is Sagittarius. Her core personality is Taurus, and her subconscious is Leo. This combination creates a strong-willed, charming, and joyful individual. She is robust and likes space to move and be physically active in short bursts. “If human,”, Lotta pondered, “she would like winning prizes or having status symbols around her to help her self-expression.” I wondered if I should hang her show medals on a nearby tree for her to see, but that was more likely to be a choking hazard. Pixie has an astrological wounding in relationships of not feeling safe. Our chart comparison shows strong synastry, a destiny to be together; I am her guide in life, and she supports my healing. Pixie can struggle to express herself, resulting in stored-up emotions that surface as big reactions. My psychic nature supports her feeling heard and feeling safe and secure in a relationship. My boundaries and structure support her living out her soul purpose of self-expression.
Jojo
The Third Grey Pony
When Pixie was three, a year after Jac died, I met Jojo. She had an eye injury, and there was no one available in her yard to assist except me. I was told that she could kick. Although injured and anxious, I found her energy very similar to Jac’s. She was fifteen, Jac’s age when I first met him. Jojo is an Arabian with a narrower mouth than Jac, but still, she looks very much like him. She was for sale, but alas, with no takers. Her owner lived elsewhere, and, due to health issues, had loaned her to another person, who in turn found their circumstances had changed. No one wanted her; she had melanomas under her tail and suffered from back pain. Her eye ended up being just fine. Although I could not afford another pony, I could not leave her in this situation. Jojo moved to live with Pixie, and I began to care for her. I continued to search for a person to join me, to no avail. Instead, I found several people who offered to financially support me to be her person. She now has a group of friends who love her, and she knows it.
The vet felt that, with bodywork, Jojo could become pain-free as long as she remained non-ridden. Her melanomas were more problematic. I tried her on a course of nutritional feeds and other holistic care, which, so far, seems to have halted their growth. Jojo stresses about routine care, but I notice Pixie’s presence calms her down, so both girls have body work together, known as their spa day. To support Jojo’s spinal recovery, I looked for a home with a track around the perimeter of a field to encourage movement.
Papers were checked on moving day, and it was pointed out that we were headed to Jojo’s birth home. We discovered her parentage, early career, and full name, Bahira Johara, which means Dazzling Jewel. Once she arrived back at her birth home, she calmed down, became pain-free, and began to reveal her sense of humour. We often find her in the field daydreaming, off in another world.
Jojo’s outward persona and core personality are both in Aries. Her unconscious is in Libra. This combination means she is fiery, free-spirited, charming, empathic, and intelligent. She was also born on a full moon, heightening her emotions. Jojo needs to roam over wide spaces to discover and learn; she can journey inwards, so she may often meditate. She also has an astrological wounding of having a smaller stature, but health is not a big part of her journey. Jojo needs calmness and loving energies to feel safe. She is on a quest to find her spiritual tribe. Comparing charts, Jojo and I share an auspicious kite pattern, hers in fire whilst mine in calmer water signs. Jojo will not find big groups easy, nor fiery people; this is her nature and not a wounding. I give her the confidence to explore her psychic and spiritual sides further, whilst her inner nature is healing for me. I then had a feeling that Jac and Jojo knew each other. Lotta compared their charts. Jac appears to be her spiritual guide in both communication and expression. They are both natural peacemakers. Jojo is fearful of shining, like her Dazzling Jewel namesake, but Jac’s playful nature invites her to be fully herself.
When Pixie was three, a year after Jac died, I met Jojo. She had an eye injury, and there was no one available in her yard to assist except me. I was told that she could kick. Although injured and anxious, I found her energy very similar to Jac’s. She was fifteen, Jac’s age when I first met him. Jojo is an Arabian with a narrower mouth than Jac, but still, she looks very much like him. She was for sale, but alas, with no takers. Her owner lived elsewhere, and, due to health issues, had loaned her to another person, who in turn found their circumstances had changed. No one wanted her; she had melanomas under her tail and suffered from back pain. Her eye ended up being just fine. Although I could not afford another pony, I could not leave her in this situation. Jojo moved to live with Pixie, and I began to care for her. I continued to search for a person to join me, to no avail. Instead, I found several people who offered to financially support me to be her person. She now has a group of friends who love her, and she knows it.
The vet felt that, with bodywork, Jojo could become pain-free as long as she remained non-ridden. Her melanomas were more problematic. I tried her on a course of nutritional feeds and other holistic care, which, so far, seems to have halted their growth. Jojo stresses about routine care, but I notice Pixie’s presence calms her down, so both girls have body work together, known as their spa day. To support Jojo’s spinal recovery, I looked for a home with a track around the perimeter of a field to encourage movement.
Papers were checked on moving day, and it was pointed out that we were headed to Jojo’s birth home. We discovered her parentage, early career, and full name, Bahira Johara, which means Dazzling Jewel. Once she arrived back at her birth home, she calmed down, became pain-free, and began to reveal her sense of humour. We often find her in the field daydreaming, off in another world.
Jojo’s outward persona and core personality are both in Aries. Her unconscious is in Libra. This combination means she is fiery, free-spirited, charming, empathic, and intelligent. She was also born on a full moon, heightening her emotions. Jojo needs to roam over wide spaces to discover and learn; she can journey inwards, so she may often meditate. She also has an astrological wounding of having a smaller stature, but health is not a big part of her journey. Jojo needs calmness and loving energies to feel safe. She is on a quest to find her spiritual tribe. Comparing charts, Jojo and I share an auspicious kite pattern, hers in fire whilst mine in calmer water signs. Jojo will not find big groups easy, nor fiery people; this is her nature and not a wounding. I give her the confidence to explore her psychic and spiritual sides further, whilst her inner nature is healing for me. I then had a feeling that Jac and Jojo knew each other. Lotta compared their charts. Jac appears to be her spiritual guide in both communication and expression. They are both natural peacemakers. Jojo is fearful of shining, like her Dazzling Jewel namesake, but Jac’s playful nature invites her to be fully herself.
The starry perspective gives me an impression not so much of our chance meetings but of either destiny or design, making all our connections that much more significant. I wondered at all the coincidences, such as those that led Jojo to me and later how she made her way home. I have begun to do meditations that invite Jojo and Jac to join me and explore the inner worlds together, whilst young Pixie is busy exploring her outer one. Each pony has encouraged healing, which has allowed me to know myself fully. An inward journey discovering chaos and order, neither bad nor good, but like sides of the same coin. Acceptance creates a balanced oneness, rather than a duality. This reduced my outward projections from inner wounding. My experience of life then changed because my beliefs changed. By increasingly knowing my Self, I could support their soul missions as our connection strengthened. Astrology offered a greater understanding of connection and our layered personalities, which validated things I sensed. These two points are key for us, for humanity, to recognise the Self fully and realise our connection within both our inner world and our outer world; not an isolated oneness but a connected together oneness. ~*~
