Love, Anxiety and Labels
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My love of horses and their powerful ability to help human’s heal led me to acquire training and certification in the field of
Equine Assisted Learning. Every session I have led a client through with my equine partners has left me humbled
and so grateful for the willingness and great lengths the horses go to help them find healing.
Horses have a way of getting to the heart of the real issue that is causing a person’s pain.
Equine Assisted Learning. Every session I have led a client through with my equine partners has left me humbled
and so grateful for the willingness and great lengths the horses go to help them find healing.
Horses have a way of getting to the heart of the real issue that is causing a person’s pain.
Then they work with them so that they understand. Working with the horses is experiential; my clients feel the teaching, that feeling as well as the lesson they have learned can be called upon time and time again even when they are no longer with the horses. They have a generous nature; one of compassion and a willingness to help heal. The following are stories that demonstrate the different ways they have helped my clients deal with some of life’s challenges.
Learning to let go and allow love in:
Natalie came to me for a session with the horses to see if she could find some way to move forward and look for love again. Her husband Phil, the love of her life, had died suddenly in a car accident two years ago. Natalie had done a lot of work dealing with grief and moving forward but there was still a part of her that was having trouble letting her husband go. She knew she would always love Phil but knew that she was young, wanted to find love again and have children. She needed to keep living. We went out to the geldings’ field where Onyx stepped forward. He was the one who wanted to work with her. We led him in the round pen where Onyx would put his head down low to the ground and then bring it up, look at her and then take a few steps forward. He stopped and would do the same action again, he did it several times before Natalie said - "he is telling me it's ok to pick my head up and to move on". Onyx looked directly at her as he walked to stand in front of her. Tears began to well up in Natalie's eyes and she and Onyx stood together for a long time sharing the healing energy -one of acceptance and love. While this was going on I couldn't help but notice the head of the herd was no longer grazing but instead he was looking straight at us in the round pen. I wondered if there was more to come.
When Natalie told me she felt complete that she had received a great deal of healing from Onyx we brought him back to the field. Onyx slowly walked away and we were about to as well but Munroe was still looking directly at us. I told Natalie that I thought Munroe was working with us. Munroe is a big, brawny horse who is powerful and masculine; he enjoys being head of the herd and at times can be quite pushy. I was curious as to what was coming but I would never have expected what did. Munroe came over quickly and directly walked right up to Natalie, looked at her and dropped down to his knees. He lay not on his side but on his knees for several minutes. We watched this odd position wondering what it meant. Onyx then came over and put his muzzle directly over top of Munroe's head- not something you expect the head of the herd to tolerate. Munroe then rolled to his side where he lay for a bit with Onyx standing directly over top of him, his head lowered towards Munroe. Munroe began to roll; Onyx had to take a few steps back to not be hit by Munroe's rolling, he'd been that close. Natalie and I were stunned watching when Onyx then lay down beside Munroe and both horses began to roll again. They both rolled for quite some time, and then lay together for a few breaths before Munroe got up, looked at Natalie and walked away. Onxy got up next and stood beside Natalie. Tears were streaming down her face and they shared a heart breath. Then with a deep contented sigh Onxy slowly moved off, confident that Natalie understood the message not just in her head but felt it in her heart.
Natalie told me that when she first saw Munroe he reminded her of Phil who had been a big, brawny man in life full of confidence and swagger. Natalie told me that she knew this was Phil's way, with the help of Munroe and Onxy, of telling her that he wanted her to move on. Natalie felt that when Munroe lay down and let another horse step up and in to his space and even rest his muzzle on Munroe's head (something that is unusual horse behaviour) was Phil showing her that he was laying down to let another person come in and take his place . The dance of both horses rolling together was for Natalie a message that Phil would always be with her but that there was room for her to love again and deeply and that it was good. Natalie told me when this thought came into her head both horses stopped rolling and then Munroe got up and walked away leaving Natalie with the other horse that represented new love. Onyx stood with her in a final heart connection before he slowly walked away.
We stood there in silence for many minutes in awe of what we had just experienced and the gift those horses had given us. Funnily enough true to Munroe's nature since he was not working with us he chased Onyx away from the water bowl to get a drink. Much more like the Munroe that I knew and loved. This showed us just how hard they had worked and how out of character they had been to get this message across to Natalie. I am pleased to report that a few weeks after our session she met the man that she did end up marrying and will be having a baby in a few short weeks.
Building Playgrounds:
Jack's mother was hoping time with the horses might help her son with his anxiety and ADHD. Jack is a sweet 8 year old boy who had a lot of nervous energy and he was very concerned about pleasing others and getting things right. His need to be perfect ended up paralyzing him and caused the anxiety he felt inside which led to melt downs. Jack had no experience with horses but was curious about them. Over the next 4 weeks we did many different exercises. We watched the horses over the fence where he felt safe, and observed them and their behaviour. We practiced being like horses looking though the eyes of a horse - the wide lens view, to listen like a horse picking up all the minute sounds, to feel the ground under our feet and feel our bodies and how they moved. When we got into the paddock with the horses Jack was able to notice how he felt, when one of the bigger horses came up to him at first he began to get anxious and hyper ventilate. I reminded him to breathe and asked him to take a few steps back and notice how he felt. When he realized he felt ok and not scared we stayed there as did the horse. He continued to practice breathing and when he was ready we slowly made our way over to the horse who stood so still for Jack. Jack was learning to self regulate without putting it into words. He was learning that when he felt anxiety in his body he could stop and breath, that he could take his time and wait till he felt safe and good in his body before moving forward. We did some leading of different horses and when Jack would let his mind wander I was able to gently remind him to be present with his horse. The horses helped a lot with little cues like perking their ears forward which I could use to ask Jack what he thought the horse heard, or was seeing. Over time you could see Jack on his own beginning to work with breathing around the horses, to be more present and aware of them and not so much in his anxious mind.
Our final session made my heart sing. The boy who would not guess or answer for fear of being wrong, who would shut down easily in an anxious state was leading me in a task. We decided to make an obstacle course play ground for the horses to be lead through. Our first task was to build the course, with Jack telling me with confidence and authority, how he wanted it built, what supplies we needed and where we were to put our obstacles. There were no signs of that tentative little boy and I loved it. Next we each had a horse to lead Jack had a mini horse named Rain and I led a mini named Cecil. Jack lead Rain through the course and when she didn't get all 4 hooves in the circle he designed he told me that it was good enough- this coming from the boy who had to get things perfect. His saying " oh that's good enough - she did a great job" was music to my ears. We completed the course one time and when I asked Jack if he thought we should do it again he said that no he felt they had done a great job and that they had done enough. In just 4 sessions Jack, with the guidance and teaching of the horses, had learned how to pay attention to how he felt in his body and when anxiety started he stopped and would breathe till he felt safe. He learned how to use his 5 senses to be horse like and more present and used them often. He learned to pay attention to the subtle messages his horse was giving him and he learned that good enough is better than perfection any day.
My mirror, my teacher:
Before I knew about Equine Assisted Learning and Therapy I was a horse lover and a rider. I would spend hours at the barn with the horses and riding. I always felt a connection with them and the relationship to me was always more important than how the ride went. One day I was captured by a very pretty little horse named Zena. For some reason she drew me in. I asked the barn manager about her and was told that she had just arrived and that she was intended to one day be a school horse but so far was much too nervous. I asked if I could work with her and was given the go ahead with a warning that she had bitten the barn manager very hard the day before so to be careful. I took my time with her, not wanting to be bitten or kicked- she needed patience. I would listen to my gut, to my intuition and spend time with her not asking her to do anything. At first this was strange for her. She would move around and look at me suspiciously. Over time I could see her relax with me. When she did it was time to build her confidence a bit more and we moved to grooming and being led. Each step was slow. I would listen to how I felt in my own body. At one time I wondered why I felt a rush of adrenaline when we entered the arena and I realized that it was not my energy. The rush I felt was from her. I was picking up her energy and I could feel it before she would react. We worked a fine line trying to build her confidence and bring her along without pushing her. If I got too focused on the task and wanting to accomplish a goal she often would act up- she would kick out, or do these funny little hops like she was going to rear or threaten to bite. What I learned was I had gone out of the place of being present and I had gone into my head. I was focused on the goal and the relationship was not my top concern. The moment I realized this I would stop immediately what I was “trying to do" and go to a place where we were successful. I would drop out of my head and back into my heart and my intuition. Other horse people would offer suggestions telling me that I should show her who is boss, punish her for acting up but I wouldn't as she was just scared. How would it help a scared horse feel safe if I tried to force her and she got in trouble for trying to tell me she was not ready? Then it hit me- she was me. I hated school, I'm dyslexic and have several learning disabilities, I would try hard in school and want to do well and fit it but I just couldn't seem to figure it out like the others. I remember many tearful nights doing homework being told to pay attention and having teachers getting frustrated with me because
I was not getting it. The more frustrated they got the more anxious and shut down I got, making learning almost impossible in that state. I was like Zena - she was my mirror. When she felt overwhelmed or afraid she resorted to antics like bucking and fussing. When I felt overwhelmed I didn’t act up but I retreated deep inside, my confidence in shreds and the voice in my head saying you’re just too stupid to do this. I saw her, I knew her. She didn't need force or to be shown who was boss she needed patience, creativity and success to build her confidence. She needed someone who believed in her, who had patience and would take the time it needed. When she started to act up she was told gently no and we didn't press forward with our goal we went back to where we had success, where she could relax and feel confident and then and only then would we take a baby step forward. I paid attention to her and how she was feeling. If we had trouble learning something I would find another way to show her instead of repeating the same thing that she didn't get over and over. I heard myself often encouraging her, telling her she had this, telling her she could do this, that she was smart and I truly believed it and in her. I remember wondering how come I thought I was stupid because I learned differently but I never thought she was stupid not for a moment. I knew she wasn't bad or mean or lazy. She was scared and overwhelmed. I had a way with her that others didn't. She showed me that due to my learning disabilities I had developed into a very good teacher. One who was patient, creative, encouraging, kind and helped build confidence which leads to success. She helped me understand that I was not stupid just as she wasn't. We just needed to learn at our own pace and dare I say it if I had had more teachers with the skills that I developed working with her school would have been a much happier experience for me. Working with her was a gift and we developed a deep trust and loving bond. Thanks to her I pursued training in Equine Assisted Learning, Yoga and Mindfulness training and I use the gifts she taught me when I am working with clients and teaching students. Zena never did become a school horse instead I bought her and she lives on a farm where her job is to teach others more important lessons on the ground and she is a star!
I have shared some examples of how I have witnessed horses working hard to help heal. They use a variety of different techniques to help us understand what we need to learn. They use their powerful intuition to know what they need to do with the energy they are presented. Unlike humans they don’t listen to the words and stories of clients. Instead they feel what is presented to them and with that information they begin to do their work to help clients heal. Horses are non judgemental and that allows clients to feel safe to be vulnerable, often opening up their hearts and letting themselves feel on an entirely new level, one they might never have felt before.
Learning to let go and allow love in:
Natalie came to me for a session with the horses to see if she could find some way to move forward and look for love again. Her husband Phil, the love of her life, had died suddenly in a car accident two years ago. Natalie had done a lot of work dealing with grief and moving forward but there was still a part of her that was having trouble letting her husband go. She knew she would always love Phil but knew that she was young, wanted to find love again and have children. She needed to keep living. We went out to the geldings’ field where Onyx stepped forward. He was the one who wanted to work with her. We led him in the round pen where Onyx would put his head down low to the ground and then bring it up, look at her and then take a few steps forward. He stopped and would do the same action again, he did it several times before Natalie said - "he is telling me it's ok to pick my head up and to move on". Onyx looked directly at her as he walked to stand in front of her. Tears began to well up in Natalie's eyes and she and Onyx stood together for a long time sharing the healing energy -one of acceptance and love. While this was going on I couldn't help but notice the head of the herd was no longer grazing but instead he was looking straight at us in the round pen. I wondered if there was more to come.
When Natalie told me she felt complete that she had received a great deal of healing from Onyx we brought him back to the field. Onyx slowly walked away and we were about to as well but Munroe was still looking directly at us. I told Natalie that I thought Munroe was working with us. Munroe is a big, brawny horse who is powerful and masculine; he enjoys being head of the herd and at times can be quite pushy. I was curious as to what was coming but I would never have expected what did. Munroe came over quickly and directly walked right up to Natalie, looked at her and dropped down to his knees. He lay not on his side but on his knees for several minutes. We watched this odd position wondering what it meant. Onyx then came over and put his muzzle directly over top of Munroe's head- not something you expect the head of the herd to tolerate. Munroe then rolled to his side where he lay for a bit with Onyx standing directly over top of him, his head lowered towards Munroe. Munroe began to roll; Onyx had to take a few steps back to not be hit by Munroe's rolling, he'd been that close. Natalie and I were stunned watching when Onyx then lay down beside Munroe and both horses began to roll again. They both rolled for quite some time, and then lay together for a few breaths before Munroe got up, looked at Natalie and walked away. Onxy got up next and stood beside Natalie. Tears were streaming down her face and they shared a heart breath. Then with a deep contented sigh Onxy slowly moved off, confident that Natalie understood the message not just in her head but felt it in her heart.
Natalie told me that when she first saw Munroe he reminded her of Phil who had been a big, brawny man in life full of confidence and swagger. Natalie told me that she knew this was Phil's way, with the help of Munroe and Onxy, of telling her that he wanted her to move on. Natalie felt that when Munroe lay down and let another horse step up and in to his space and even rest his muzzle on Munroe's head (something that is unusual horse behaviour) was Phil showing her that he was laying down to let another person come in and take his place . The dance of both horses rolling together was for Natalie a message that Phil would always be with her but that there was room for her to love again and deeply and that it was good. Natalie told me when this thought came into her head both horses stopped rolling and then Munroe got up and walked away leaving Natalie with the other horse that represented new love. Onyx stood with her in a final heart connection before he slowly walked away.
We stood there in silence for many minutes in awe of what we had just experienced and the gift those horses had given us. Funnily enough true to Munroe's nature since he was not working with us he chased Onyx away from the water bowl to get a drink. Much more like the Munroe that I knew and loved. This showed us just how hard they had worked and how out of character they had been to get this message across to Natalie. I am pleased to report that a few weeks after our session she met the man that she did end up marrying and will be having a baby in a few short weeks.
Building Playgrounds:
Jack's mother was hoping time with the horses might help her son with his anxiety and ADHD. Jack is a sweet 8 year old boy who had a lot of nervous energy and he was very concerned about pleasing others and getting things right. His need to be perfect ended up paralyzing him and caused the anxiety he felt inside which led to melt downs. Jack had no experience with horses but was curious about them. Over the next 4 weeks we did many different exercises. We watched the horses over the fence where he felt safe, and observed them and their behaviour. We practiced being like horses looking though the eyes of a horse - the wide lens view, to listen like a horse picking up all the minute sounds, to feel the ground under our feet and feel our bodies and how they moved. When we got into the paddock with the horses Jack was able to notice how he felt, when one of the bigger horses came up to him at first he began to get anxious and hyper ventilate. I reminded him to breathe and asked him to take a few steps back and notice how he felt. When he realized he felt ok and not scared we stayed there as did the horse. He continued to practice breathing and when he was ready we slowly made our way over to the horse who stood so still for Jack. Jack was learning to self regulate without putting it into words. He was learning that when he felt anxiety in his body he could stop and breath, that he could take his time and wait till he felt safe and good in his body before moving forward. We did some leading of different horses and when Jack would let his mind wander I was able to gently remind him to be present with his horse. The horses helped a lot with little cues like perking their ears forward which I could use to ask Jack what he thought the horse heard, or was seeing. Over time you could see Jack on his own beginning to work with breathing around the horses, to be more present and aware of them and not so much in his anxious mind.
Our final session made my heart sing. The boy who would not guess or answer for fear of being wrong, who would shut down easily in an anxious state was leading me in a task. We decided to make an obstacle course play ground for the horses to be lead through. Our first task was to build the course, with Jack telling me with confidence and authority, how he wanted it built, what supplies we needed and where we were to put our obstacles. There were no signs of that tentative little boy and I loved it. Next we each had a horse to lead Jack had a mini horse named Rain and I led a mini named Cecil. Jack lead Rain through the course and when she didn't get all 4 hooves in the circle he designed he told me that it was good enough- this coming from the boy who had to get things perfect. His saying " oh that's good enough - she did a great job" was music to my ears. We completed the course one time and when I asked Jack if he thought we should do it again he said that no he felt they had done a great job and that they had done enough. In just 4 sessions Jack, with the guidance and teaching of the horses, had learned how to pay attention to how he felt in his body and when anxiety started he stopped and would breathe till he felt safe. He learned how to use his 5 senses to be horse like and more present and used them often. He learned to pay attention to the subtle messages his horse was giving him and he learned that good enough is better than perfection any day.
My mirror, my teacher:
Before I knew about Equine Assisted Learning and Therapy I was a horse lover and a rider. I would spend hours at the barn with the horses and riding. I always felt a connection with them and the relationship to me was always more important than how the ride went. One day I was captured by a very pretty little horse named Zena. For some reason she drew me in. I asked the barn manager about her and was told that she had just arrived and that she was intended to one day be a school horse but so far was much too nervous. I asked if I could work with her and was given the go ahead with a warning that she had bitten the barn manager very hard the day before so to be careful. I took my time with her, not wanting to be bitten or kicked- she needed patience. I would listen to my gut, to my intuition and spend time with her not asking her to do anything. At first this was strange for her. She would move around and look at me suspiciously. Over time I could see her relax with me. When she did it was time to build her confidence a bit more and we moved to grooming and being led. Each step was slow. I would listen to how I felt in my own body. At one time I wondered why I felt a rush of adrenaline when we entered the arena and I realized that it was not my energy. The rush I felt was from her. I was picking up her energy and I could feel it before she would react. We worked a fine line trying to build her confidence and bring her along without pushing her. If I got too focused on the task and wanting to accomplish a goal she often would act up- she would kick out, or do these funny little hops like she was going to rear or threaten to bite. What I learned was I had gone out of the place of being present and I had gone into my head. I was focused on the goal and the relationship was not my top concern. The moment I realized this I would stop immediately what I was “trying to do" and go to a place where we were successful. I would drop out of my head and back into my heart and my intuition. Other horse people would offer suggestions telling me that I should show her who is boss, punish her for acting up but I wouldn't as she was just scared. How would it help a scared horse feel safe if I tried to force her and she got in trouble for trying to tell me she was not ready? Then it hit me- she was me. I hated school, I'm dyslexic and have several learning disabilities, I would try hard in school and want to do well and fit it but I just couldn't seem to figure it out like the others. I remember many tearful nights doing homework being told to pay attention and having teachers getting frustrated with me because
I was not getting it. The more frustrated they got the more anxious and shut down I got, making learning almost impossible in that state. I was like Zena - she was my mirror. When she felt overwhelmed or afraid she resorted to antics like bucking and fussing. When I felt overwhelmed I didn’t act up but I retreated deep inside, my confidence in shreds and the voice in my head saying you’re just too stupid to do this. I saw her, I knew her. She didn't need force or to be shown who was boss she needed patience, creativity and success to build her confidence. She needed someone who believed in her, who had patience and would take the time it needed. When she started to act up she was told gently no and we didn't press forward with our goal we went back to where we had success, where she could relax and feel confident and then and only then would we take a baby step forward. I paid attention to her and how she was feeling. If we had trouble learning something I would find another way to show her instead of repeating the same thing that she didn't get over and over. I heard myself often encouraging her, telling her she had this, telling her she could do this, that she was smart and I truly believed it and in her. I remember wondering how come I thought I was stupid because I learned differently but I never thought she was stupid not for a moment. I knew she wasn't bad or mean or lazy. She was scared and overwhelmed. I had a way with her that others didn't. She showed me that due to my learning disabilities I had developed into a very good teacher. One who was patient, creative, encouraging, kind and helped build confidence which leads to success. She helped me understand that I was not stupid just as she wasn't. We just needed to learn at our own pace and dare I say it if I had had more teachers with the skills that I developed working with her school would have been a much happier experience for me. Working with her was a gift and we developed a deep trust and loving bond. Thanks to her I pursued training in Equine Assisted Learning, Yoga and Mindfulness training and I use the gifts she taught me when I am working with clients and teaching students. Zena never did become a school horse instead I bought her and she lives on a farm where her job is to teach others more important lessons on the ground and she is a star!
I have shared some examples of how I have witnessed horses working hard to help heal. They use a variety of different techniques to help us understand what we need to learn. They use their powerful intuition to know what they need to do with the energy they are presented. Unlike humans they don’t listen to the words and stories of clients. Instead they feel what is presented to them and with that information they begin to do their work to help clients heal. Horses are non judgemental and that allows clients to feel safe to be vulnerable, often opening up their hearts and letting themselves feel on an entirely new level, one they might never have felt before.
Working with the horses has taught me to open up my heart, listen without needing words and rest in the present moment. As well I have learned to enjoy the richness of being where you are, to flow with emotions, challenges and opportunities and not to judge either people or situations but be present to what is. The generosity, compassion and willingness shown by the horses to help us heal touches me deeply and leaves my heart filled with love and admiration for them and the powerful work they do.
It is a profound honour to work with them.
It is a profound honour to work with them.
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Jennifer Steers Bio Jennifer Steers works full time in the field of recreations, and in the twenty five years she has had the privilege of working with and teaching all kinds of people from different walks of life. She has always had a deep love of all animals, being out in nature and working with her horse friends this for her is healing and grounding. She is a certified yoga teacher and found how much yoga is being horse like; connected to your body, to your environment, to the energy you feel around you and the present moment awareness. Continuing to look for ways to work with her horse companions she was delighted to learn about Equine Assisted Learning. Five years ago she got certified in Equine Assisted Learning and Equine Assisted Therapy. She has trained and is certified with two different organizations. With a passion and a thirst to learn more Jen got her advanced certification two summers ago. Jen brings her teaching skills, yoga and her mindfulness training into the work with horses and together they make a powerful team. Jen loves the work and feels very fortunate to do what she loves. Jenn can be contacted at: 1-613 291-7878 or steersje@hotmail.com |