Women's Empowerment
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If you had said 10 years ago I’d be running Women’s Empowerment Days with a herd of horses, I would have laughed at you. I was a nobody, I had nothing to contribute. But here I am 10 years older, wiser and more astute and I can say “yeah, I do that.”
It would have to be the horses that have made that happen.
It would have to be the horses that have made that happen.
Horses have no judgement.
HorseSense UK
You see, to help others, you must have your own journey first, and thanks to a grey 15hh Irish Draught called Murphy, I did.
Murphy was a beautiful horse, that came into our life as a fresh faced 4-year-old from Ireland. Intended to come for a summer, Murphy put his foot through a fence around the time he was due to be sold, and ended up staying for a further 20 years. Our partnership started when I was 21 and a returning university student with Chronic Fatigue. Back then, my day revolved around his care, whatever work I could manage and seeing friends. He was my reason to get up in the mornings. He even joined me in being ill, having his own version of Chronic Fatigue for a while.
Through the years of ridden training and competitions, Murphy taught me a lot about what is required to be successful in life – and in particular, how to communicate. He taught me about body language, empathy, giving clear instructions and partnership rather than dominance. A strong alpha male himself, he challenged me to speak my truth and do, what in my heart, I knew to be right even when it was difficult. These were all things that I was noticed and respected for in the workplace. Looking back, I realize that HorseSense UK was his company, born out of a desire to spend more time with me and to have a rich and engaging social life. He LOVED the work, producing profound and life changing outcomes for people through his strong presence and deep awareness of who he was.
Yet it was with some trepidation I put on our first Women’s Empowerment Day, working alongside the horses to explore and discuss the unique attributes that women bring. For us, whilst it was familiar to be working with an all-female group, it felt a little exclusionary to be asking the guys to stay away. It soon became clear though; a celebration of women alone was needed for them to consciously discover and embrace what being female was.
Hidden treasure
To explore what it means to be female, is to discover a hidden treasure chest you never knew you had. All those that attended our Women’s Empowerment Day’s knew they wanted to embrace their femininity. Even more they had a voice that spoke powerfully. In a way that would serve them, their families, their workplaces and their community – but they wanted to do it their way, though they didn’t always know what ‘their way’ was.
As is always the way with horses, there is no judgement on these days and this gives rise to wonderful and deep learnings. Horses bring such a level-headed pragmatism to all things - you either speak up and tell your truth, or you don’t.
We had one participant that headed up a cross-Atlantic team of editors and writers. Her challenge was to lead this team, despite many being older and in the industry longer. After some basic introductions and orienteering exercises, we invited the participants to lead a horse of their choice down a simple out and back series of cones to represent the twists and turns of life and the ability to lead others through them. Despite only having had a short time to meet and assess the horses, she picked the largest, most set in his ways horse that walked a short way through the task and then refused to budge. It had literally taken moments for her to recreate her work scenario. It is at this moment we are most confronted with the part we play in the lives we create. And this is where the beauty of the safe-space to try something new and the non-judgemental approach wins. With a short re-assessment of what had transpired, the participant was able to make an internal shift that acknowledged the horse was wiser than her, and had been uninspired by her leadership enough to make completion of the exercise an attractive prospect. The point of power was the consciousness placed on what wasn’t working and the opportunity and courage to try something new. It turned out she needed to stop deferring authority to the horse and reclaim the leadership position she had been entrusted with. When she did, his behaviour changed and the two moved seamlessly through the task to a congratulatory finish.
Lessons learnt
In one programme we ran, a participant was asked to walk a horse around a square of cones to represent her business journey. As she reached the first cone, her chosen horse Murphy stopped and as a result she stopped to tell the group she had done enough and she had accomplished all in that task she wanted to do. As she stood and told the group just how enough that was, Murphy decided there was more to be done and continued on through the exercise. We pointed out the shift and encouraged her to follow his lead. Her life changing learning was to not sell herself short. Murphy had seen beyond the story that felt so safe and comfortable, but kept her stuck, and saw she was capable of more than she credited herself with. Murphy was a smart horse like that, seeing beyond limiting self beliefs and challenging people to grow beyond them. As for the participant, I’ve not known her hold back on going forwards since.
A mare’s perspective
When the mares of the HorseSense UK herd were asked, what benefits a Women’s Empowerment Day brings they too had their opinions. Our youngest mare shared the benefit of seeing the qualities you have in another. One example was when I did my training. I was being asked to observe the herd and decide who was herd leader. During an observation exercise, I was instantly drawn to a large and powerful horse called Prudence. I was deeply moved how persistently gentle she was, asking the entire time for the respect of the more boisterous geldings. I saw that even though the geldings put on a big display of bravado, underneath it all it was Prudence that saw the situation in its entirety and called the shots without glory or reward. In that moment I knew I did that too. I remain forever grateful for the grace, poise and persistence Prudence displayed knowing that if I could see the impact she had, others could see my impact too. It may never be acknowledged, but it would still somewhere down the line, be known.
Then there’s the skill of partnership that a day such as this can bring. Squirrel, our 13.1hh New Forest, spent nearly 3 years as lead mare to our alpha gelding Murphy. In that time they partnered like husband and wife, dancing the dance of respect, partnership and trust. This, for her, meant a whole new skillset of understanding the language of masculinity. It meant not interpreting things always as they are presented but at the level of intention. Masculine energy may communicate quite differently than feminine energy communicates and this is a whole language to be explored and understood. For her, she had to learn that Murphy’s frame of reference was different to her own. This she did in an exemplary way, unafraid to set boundaries when his actions were unwelcome. To this he took no offence. Their interactions always provided a talking point in any programme as they played out the dynamics of a masculine and feminine relationship without judgement so well.
Securing the learning
It simply leaves it to us, the facilitators, to secure the learning in the participant’s minds. The relevance of an Equine Assisted Education experience is to relate it back to participant’s present day lives. On these days we invite people to bring their troubles, questions and challenges. Through holding a great space and supporting the participants to become aware of what is going on within themselves and what is being reflected back by the horses; facilitators empower the participants to access their inner wisdom and solve their challenges in a way that is integrous and authentic to them. In a dynamic flow between the three parties, the participant poses a question, the horse gives an answer and the facilitator helps the learning safely land home.
Murphy was a beautiful horse, that came into our life as a fresh faced 4-year-old from Ireland. Intended to come for a summer, Murphy put his foot through a fence around the time he was due to be sold, and ended up staying for a further 20 years. Our partnership started when I was 21 and a returning university student with Chronic Fatigue. Back then, my day revolved around his care, whatever work I could manage and seeing friends. He was my reason to get up in the mornings. He even joined me in being ill, having his own version of Chronic Fatigue for a while.
Through the years of ridden training and competitions, Murphy taught me a lot about what is required to be successful in life – and in particular, how to communicate. He taught me about body language, empathy, giving clear instructions and partnership rather than dominance. A strong alpha male himself, he challenged me to speak my truth and do, what in my heart, I knew to be right even when it was difficult. These were all things that I was noticed and respected for in the workplace. Looking back, I realize that HorseSense UK was his company, born out of a desire to spend more time with me and to have a rich and engaging social life. He LOVED the work, producing profound and life changing outcomes for people through his strong presence and deep awareness of who he was.
Yet it was with some trepidation I put on our first Women’s Empowerment Day, working alongside the horses to explore and discuss the unique attributes that women bring. For us, whilst it was familiar to be working with an all-female group, it felt a little exclusionary to be asking the guys to stay away. It soon became clear though; a celebration of women alone was needed for them to consciously discover and embrace what being female was.
Hidden treasure
To explore what it means to be female, is to discover a hidden treasure chest you never knew you had. All those that attended our Women’s Empowerment Day’s knew they wanted to embrace their femininity. Even more they had a voice that spoke powerfully. In a way that would serve them, their families, their workplaces and their community – but they wanted to do it their way, though they didn’t always know what ‘their way’ was.
As is always the way with horses, there is no judgement on these days and this gives rise to wonderful and deep learnings. Horses bring such a level-headed pragmatism to all things - you either speak up and tell your truth, or you don’t.
We had one participant that headed up a cross-Atlantic team of editors and writers. Her challenge was to lead this team, despite many being older and in the industry longer. After some basic introductions and orienteering exercises, we invited the participants to lead a horse of their choice down a simple out and back series of cones to represent the twists and turns of life and the ability to lead others through them. Despite only having had a short time to meet and assess the horses, she picked the largest, most set in his ways horse that walked a short way through the task and then refused to budge. It had literally taken moments for her to recreate her work scenario. It is at this moment we are most confronted with the part we play in the lives we create. And this is where the beauty of the safe-space to try something new and the non-judgemental approach wins. With a short re-assessment of what had transpired, the participant was able to make an internal shift that acknowledged the horse was wiser than her, and had been uninspired by her leadership enough to make completion of the exercise an attractive prospect. The point of power was the consciousness placed on what wasn’t working and the opportunity and courage to try something new. It turned out she needed to stop deferring authority to the horse and reclaim the leadership position she had been entrusted with. When she did, his behaviour changed and the two moved seamlessly through the task to a congratulatory finish.
Lessons learnt
In one programme we ran, a participant was asked to walk a horse around a square of cones to represent her business journey. As she reached the first cone, her chosen horse Murphy stopped and as a result she stopped to tell the group she had done enough and she had accomplished all in that task she wanted to do. As she stood and told the group just how enough that was, Murphy decided there was more to be done and continued on through the exercise. We pointed out the shift and encouraged her to follow his lead. Her life changing learning was to not sell herself short. Murphy had seen beyond the story that felt so safe and comfortable, but kept her stuck, and saw she was capable of more than she credited herself with. Murphy was a smart horse like that, seeing beyond limiting self beliefs and challenging people to grow beyond them. As for the participant, I’ve not known her hold back on going forwards since.
A mare’s perspective
When the mares of the HorseSense UK herd were asked, what benefits a Women’s Empowerment Day brings they too had their opinions. Our youngest mare shared the benefit of seeing the qualities you have in another. One example was when I did my training. I was being asked to observe the herd and decide who was herd leader. During an observation exercise, I was instantly drawn to a large and powerful horse called Prudence. I was deeply moved how persistently gentle she was, asking the entire time for the respect of the more boisterous geldings. I saw that even though the geldings put on a big display of bravado, underneath it all it was Prudence that saw the situation in its entirety and called the shots without glory or reward. In that moment I knew I did that too. I remain forever grateful for the grace, poise and persistence Prudence displayed knowing that if I could see the impact she had, others could see my impact too. It may never be acknowledged, but it would still somewhere down the line, be known.
Then there’s the skill of partnership that a day such as this can bring. Squirrel, our 13.1hh New Forest, spent nearly 3 years as lead mare to our alpha gelding Murphy. In that time they partnered like husband and wife, dancing the dance of respect, partnership and trust. This, for her, meant a whole new skillset of understanding the language of masculinity. It meant not interpreting things always as they are presented but at the level of intention. Masculine energy may communicate quite differently than feminine energy communicates and this is a whole language to be explored and understood. For her, she had to learn that Murphy’s frame of reference was different to her own. This she did in an exemplary way, unafraid to set boundaries when his actions were unwelcome. To this he took no offence. Their interactions always provided a talking point in any programme as they played out the dynamics of a masculine and feminine relationship without judgement so well.
Securing the learning
It simply leaves it to us, the facilitators, to secure the learning in the participant’s minds. The relevance of an Equine Assisted Education experience is to relate it back to participant’s present day lives. On these days we invite people to bring their troubles, questions and challenges. Through holding a great space and supporting the participants to become aware of what is going on within themselves and what is being reflected back by the horses; facilitators empower the participants to access their inner wisdom and solve their challenges in a way that is integrous and authentic to them. In a dynamic flow between the three parties, the participant poses a question, the horse gives an answer and the facilitator helps the learning safely land home.
After all the day isn’t about being given the answers or techniques to get it right, it is a day of learning what true empowerment really is, through being empowered! Feedback is just data, and mistakes are a golden opportunity to learn what doesn’t work, before going to find out what does. Just like Murphy did for me for all the years we were together, we now make it possible for others to have that opportunity and learning experience so they might grow too; and I love it!
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Becci Godfrey Bio After several years working in the private, public and charitable sectors, Becci realised horses provided an unparalleled learning experience for personal and professional development. Accompanied by her herd, she set about bringing the wisdom of horses into everyday life through corporate training, one day personal development programmes and one to one experiences, alongside her coaching and healing work. Becci adopted Emma's Networking Neighs model in 2014 and has successfully been offering them as a platform for making a deeper connections from her venue in East Sussex, UK ever since. www.HorseSenseUK.com |