Let Fear Lead The Way
By: Wendy Firmin-Price
You are often taught fear is a bad thing and that you must overcome it at all costs. Certainly, fear can hold you back in life, stop you fulfilling your dreams and cost you a great deal, and not just financially, but in lost opportunities, low self-esteem and loss of confidence.
Fear can paralyze you, cause palpitations or other unpleasant physical symptoms. Prolonged exposure to fear, anxiety and stress create chemical responses that slowly poison your body, weaken your immune system and eventually cause burnout, depression or some other form of breakdown. Even the movies in your mind are so dramatized from the “what if” scenarios that Steven Spielberg would want to sign up the film rights!
Experiencing the terror zone
Just over 30 years ago I had to face completing an equine exam. Feeling sick to my stomach, my mouth was dry, and my heart was racing. So much so that the horse I was working with was also acting jittery, reacting to my nervous state that I was transmitting to him. I was in terror.
That’s when I clocked it. The feeling I was going through, right there, was the same feeling of terror I experienced, pretty much most nights, as I lay awake anxiously waiting for my violent alcoholic partner to return home. The fear of what would happen when he got home was the same sick, toxic feeling I was experiencing with the horse.
As luck would have it, I had the “helpful” friend. You know the type, the ones that can sort everything out about you and your life whilst theirs is equally in a mess!
“Read this” she demanded.
It was my first introduction to self-help books.
“You can change your thoughts!”
“You can change your feelings!”
“You can even change your reality” was the claim.
Naturally my disbelief was enormous, given the life I was experiencing, but nevertheless I ended up giving it a go! Heck, what did I have to lose?
Experiencing the terror zone
Just over 30 years ago I had to face completing an equine exam. Feeling sick to my stomach, my mouth was dry, and my heart was racing. So much so that the horse I was working with was also acting jittery, reacting to my nervous state that I was transmitting to him. I was in terror.
That’s when I clocked it. The feeling I was going through, right there, was the same feeling of terror I experienced, pretty much most nights, as I lay awake anxiously waiting for my violent alcoholic partner to return home. The fear of what would happen when he got home was the same sick, toxic feeling I was experiencing with the horse.
As luck would have it, I had the “helpful” friend. You know the type, the ones that can sort everything out about you and your life whilst theirs is equally in a mess!
“Read this” she demanded.
It was my first introduction to self-help books.
“You can change your thoughts!”
“You can change your feelings!”
“You can even change your reality” was the claim.
Naturally my disbelief was enormous, given the life I was experiencing, but nevertheless I ended up giving it a go! Heck, what did I have to lose?
Sam, The Healer
Resistance was futile
Well the very shortened version is, I did get through my exam. I did change my reality and I did change my partner! This “woo woo” stuff really worked, even for me. And then I had the crazy idea of, “What if I introduce these concepts to my own equine clients”
Well, I resisted going public for a couple of years because I thought I would get laughed off the planet. However, the more I worked with my clients, the more I could see how everything that was out of balance in their lives affected their relationship with their horse. How they interacted with their horse (or one of mine), in the first 5 minutes told me everything I needed to know about the beliefs, feelings and behaviour patterns they had, that were either getting in the way of success or getting the best from their partnership with their horse. It was time to feel the fear but do it anyway!
The real truth behind my resistance was, I was terrified of my life purpose.
My anxiety about “what others might think” (social acceptance is a primal need), was just a cop out. Eventually, using my newfound tools, I worked with overcoming my own fears and I pioneered working therapeutically with people and their horses.
The key point of the story is, it was my fears that, far from stopping me, became my conduit for change.
Well the very shortened version is, I did get through my exam. I did change my reality and I did change my partner! This “woo woo” stuff really worked, even for me. And then I had the crazy idea of, “What if I introduce these concepts to my own equine clients”
Well, I resisted going public for a couple of years because I thought I would get laughed off the planet. However, the more I worked with my clients, the more I could see how everything that was out of balance in their lives affected their relationship with their horse. How they interacted with their horse (or one of mine), in the first 5 minutes told me everything I needed to know about the beliefs, feelings and behaviour patterns they had, that were either getting in the way of success or getting the best from their partnership with their horse. It was time to feel the fear but do it anyway!
The real truth behind my resistance was, I was terrified of my life purpose.
My anxiety about “what others might think” (social acceptance is a primal need), was just a cop out. Eventually, using my newfound tools, I worked with overcoming my own fears and I pioneered working therapeutically with people and their horses.
The key point of the story is, it was my fears that, far from stopping me, became my conduit for change.
How do horses respond to fear?
As we now know, horses are very tuned into energy. Emotions are simply energy, in particular, fear. Horses can sense and even smell it. Your beliefs, feelings and even behaviours carry an energetic vibration. As highly sensitive beings, the horses pick up on this and cause them to react with their own behaviours. The number one priority for a horse is to feel safe (contrary to misguided advice). Trying to not show you are afraid when you are with a horse only makes the horse feel more insecure because your energy is incongruent.
Is resistance just fear of going forward?
My client was struggling to get Sam the shire to move. No amount of coercing, placating or pleading would get him to budge an inch, to step forward towards the obstacle that represented my client’s career goal.
I asked my client what Sam’s resistance could be representing as her own block to moving forward. Initially she believed it was her husband who was stopping her from moving forward with what she wanted to do in life. Therefore, the stress, worry and frustration she felt must all be his fault. Because of feeling so stuck, all she really wanted to do was scream and run away from her situation at home.
So, I suggested she act that out in the arena. She looked at me as though I was mad, but decided to give it a go, despite what everyone else in the group might think. She let go of Sam, ran away (interestingly in the opposite direction of the obstacle), screaming at the top of her voice. With that Sam, completely of his own volition, walked over to the career obstacle and promptly knocked it over.
My client was gobsmacked. In that moment she realised that her career goal had nothing to do with her husband stopping her. In fact, if Sam’s actions were a metaphor, she could see that her husband would support her and help her overcome any obstacles. She concluded it was her own fear that was stopping her. We consequently worked with her fears that day and, fast-forward the movie, she is now doing what she dreamed of (and is still with her husband)!
As we now know, horses are very tuned into energy. Emotions are simply energy, in particular, fear. Horses can sense and even smell it. Your beliefs, feelings and even behaviours carry an energetic vibration. As highly sensitive beings, the horses pick up on this and cause them to react with their own behaviours. The number one priority for a horse is to feel safe (contrary to misguided advice). Trying to not show you are afraid when you are with a horse only makes the horse feel more insecure because your energy is incongruent.
Is resistance just fear of going forward?
My client was struggling to get Sam the shire to move. No amount of coercing, placating or pleading would get him to budge an inch, to step forward towards the obstacle that represented my client’s career goal.
I asked my client what Sam’s resistance could be representing as her own block to moving forward. Initially she believed it was her husband who was stopping her from moving forward with what she wanted to do in life. Therefore, the stress, worry and frustration she felt must all be his fault. Because of feeling so stuck, all she really wanted to do was scream and run away from her situation at home.
So, I suggested she act that out in the arena. She looked at me as though I was mad, but decided to give it a go, despite what everyone else in the group might think. She let go of Sam, ran away (interestingly in the opposite direction of the obstacle), screaming at the top of her voice. With that Sam, completely of his own volition, walked over to the career obstacle and promptly knocked it over.
My client was gobsmacked. In that moment she realised that her career goal had nothing to do with her husband stopping her. In fact, if Sam’s actions were a metaphor, she could see that her husband would support her and help her overcome any obstacles. She concluded it was her own fear that was stopping her. We consequently worked with her fears that day and, fast-forward the movie, she is now doing what she dreamed of (and is still with her husband)!
You can’t fulfil your future dreams when you are still anchored to your past nightmares.
The important message is to realise that fear is not out to get you. Your fear is desperately trying to protect you from overwhelming feelings, failure and future unknowns. However, taking time to sit down and “talk” to your fear and uncover what is really going on, will help you heal past wounds, turn unhelpful limiting beliefs into expanded supportive ones and find the courage to move forward to your dreams. Giving yourself permission to feel your fear is the quickest way to overcome it.
Is your real fear having what you truly want, doing what you truly love and being your true self?
Work with a horse and you will find the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. ~*~
The important message is to realise that fear is not out to get you. Your fear is desperately trying to protect you from overwhelming feelings, failure and future unknowns. However, taking time to sit down and “talk” to your fear and uncover what is really going on, will help you heal past wounds, turn unhelpful limiting beliefs into expanded supportive ones and find the courage to move forward to your dreams. Giving yourself permission to feel your fear is the quickest way to overcome it.
Is your real fear having what you truly want, doing what you truly love and being your true self?
Work with a horse and you will find the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. ~*~
“Giving yourself permission to feel your fear is the
quickest way to overcome it.”
Wendy Firmin-Price Bio
Wendy Firmin-Price, proprietor of the HEART centre UK, transforms people’s lives, relationships and confidence levels through the Healing Power of Horses. Through sharing successful spiritual principles, the importance of self-love and spending time with her special herd of horses, Wendy transports you on a journey of Self-Discovery with life-changing results to all your relationships. As a pioneer of Holistic Riding and Equine Assisted Therapy (30yrs), Wendy helped many people overcome their fear and increase their confidence.
Her powerful work enables children, families and adults to transform even the most difficult and seemingly hopeless situations with the help of the horses. Wendy’s flagship courses, the HEART fundamentals and HEART Equine Assisted Coach training programme, are hugely transformative and sought after by those wishing to upgrade their life and help others with the healing power of horses. Wendy’s HEART at Work corporate equine assisted training programme helps businesses reduce stresses and conflicts within, increasing their success and harmonious working conditions. Her highly acclaimed work has been featured on BBC Radio 4s ALL in the Mind, Daily Mail and magazines. Her qualifications include, Metaphysical Practitioner (Supervisor) and H.E.A.R.T equine assisted therapist, spiritual mentor, international speaker and award-winning author of The HEART of Stable Relationships. Wendy’s passion for helping people and horses comes through in her unique style of warmth, wit and Wendyisms and wonderful herd!
www.theheartcentreuk.com www.theholistichorseandponycentre.com wendy@theheartcentreuk.com
Her powerful work enables children, families and adults to transform even the most difficult and seemingly hopeless situations with the help of the horses. Wendy’s flagship courses, the HEART fundamentals and HEART Equine Assisted Coach training programme, are hugely transformative and sought after by those wishing to upgrade their life and help others with the healing power of horses. Wendy’s HEART at Work corporate equine assisted training programme helps businesses reduce stresses and conflicts within, increasing their success and harmonious working conditions. Her highly acclaimed work has been featured on BBC Radio 4s ALL in the Mind, Daily Mail and magazines. Her qualifications include, Metaphysical Practitioner (Supervisor) and H.E.A.R.T equine assisted therapist, spiritual mentor, international speaker and award-winning author of The HEART of Stable Relationships. Wendy’s passion for helping people and horses comes through in her unique style of warmth, wit and Wendyisms and wonderful herd!
www.theheartcentreuk.com www.theholistichorseandponycentre.com wendy@theheartcentreuk.com