Freedom is a Feeling
By: Becci Godfrey
I have spent the last two years, learning to “see the mind, not be the mind”, to find and calm the conflicts in my life, and to know my true Self. I do this so that I might always experience absolute freedom and can navigate others to that place also.
Horses naturally live in an open, expansive space.
My journey to freedom started because I wanted my body to be home, not my physical location. I wanted the freedom to live anywhere in the world, and still feel ‘at home’. I had become aware that I’d gone through life attached to being around horses and living in beautiful countryside, but that perhaps my fortunes wouldn’t always dictate that could be so.
I didn’t want to live in fear that happiness could be taken away from me. I felt an inward desire to be free of the need for outside circumstances to be a particular way in order for me to feel complete, peaceful and happy.
When I started my Calmologist training, it was inspired by one very troubled client. This client stretched my need to be an anchor of connection to the present moment no matter what my outer circumstances. I worked with this individual for 9 months, the horses being big part of my support team, helping me to hold a space for a person that could not yet do that for themselves. This client’s life experiences had caused them to reject everything that was positive, like love and secure and stable relationships. It was their expectation that people would ignore them. They waited to be let down and skillfully covered up the inward chaos of the emotional pain they lived in.
This particular client had successfully unconsciously biased the medical profession to dismiss them for 5 years, leaving them with a slew of diagnosis', but no meaningful or consistent follow up treatment or support. They were desperate. My only hope of supporting them to a different outcome was in part I had been there and come out of it with my own health journey, and my fundamental and unwavering horse-given belief that with the right support, we can accomplish anything.
What this client taught me was how deep we need to become connected to stillness to heal all aspects of ourselves. It is in this space we let go of what is difficult for us, regain balance and live a life of limitless possibilities.
I didn’t want to live in fear that happiness could be taken away from me. I felt an inward desire to be free of the need for outside circumstances to be a particular way in order for me to feel complete, peaceful and happy.
When I started my Calmologist training, it was inspired by one very troubled client. This client stretched my need to be an anchor of connection to the present moment no matter what my outer circumstances. I worked with this individual for 9 months, the horses being big part of my support team, helping me to hold a space for a person that could not yet do that for themselves. This client’s life experiences had caused them to reject everything that was positive, like love and secure and stable relationships. It was their expectation that people would ignore them. They waited to be let down and skillfully covered up the inward chaos of the emotional pain they lived in.
This particular client had successfully unconsciously biased the medical profession to dismiss them for 5 years, leaving them with a slew of diagnosis', but no meaningful or consistent follow up treatment or support. They were desperate. My only hope of supporting them to a different outcome was in part I had been there and come out of it with my own health journey, and my fundamental and unwavering horse-given belief that with the right support, we can accomplish anything.
What this client taught me was how deep we need to become connected to stillness to heal all aspects of ourselves. It is in this space we let go of what is difficult for us, regain balance and live a life of limitless possibilities.
Where we focus influences our behaviour and how we feel.
Freedom is applying choice
Through my training I learnt that no matter what my outside circumstances, I always have a choice where I put my attention.
I can put my attention on the stuff in my life – my daily activities, thoughts, emotions and how my body is; or the space that all stuff exists in. The stuff is the domain of my fight/flight sympathetic nervous system. Putting my attention on space turns up the dial on my rest and relax parasympathetic nervous system. Attention on stuff generates stress, and space helps me to return to a resting state where the body can heal.
Knowing I have a choice and how to engage either, is crucial to know absolute freedom.
Horses are prey animals and their survival strategy when threatened is flight. Therefore, a horse is constantly present and alert to the environment and space around them. For this reason, horses tend to have healthy and engaged rest and relax parasympathetic nervous systems. This makes them great teachers of a way of being that is sometimes tricky to describe through words but can be easily mimicked and experienced from those that have a high degree of competency at it.
A rustle in the bushes, a voice on the nearby road, a whinny across the valley – a horse will be attentive to it all whilst carrying out their current task of grazing, grooming, exercising, socialising or dozing.
This is a living-state we can positively learn and benefit from; one of being anchored in the space (present moment), whilst completing the stuff (tasks) of the day. We call it the 200% experience of life. The invitation is to intentionally develop a strong and permanent awareness of omni-present space (the inner 100%), so that we can choose for it, no matter our stuff (the outer 100%). It means we can be experiencing chaos (including our thinking) on the outside, but still have an experience of spaciousness on the inside. Free from the constricts of life. Free to be.
Through my training I learnt that no matter what my outside circumstances, I always have a choice where I put my attention.
I can put my attention on the stuff in my life – my daily activities, thoughts, emotions and how my body is; or the space that all stuff exists in. The stuff is the domain of my fight/flight sympathetic nervous system. Putting my attention on space turns up the dial on my rest and relax parasympathetic nervous system. Attention on stuff generates stress, and space helps me to return to a resting state where the body can heal.
Knowing I have a choice and how to engage either, is crucial to know absolute freedom.
Horses are prey animals and their survival strategy when threatened is flight. Therefore, a horse is constantly present and alert to the environment and space around them. For this reason, horses tend to have healthy and engaged rest and relax parasympathetic nervous systems. This makes them great teachers of a way of being that is sometimes tricky to describe through words but can be easily mimicked and experienced from those that have a high degree of competency at it.
A rustle in the bushes, a voice on the nearby road, a whinny across the valley – a horse will be attentive to it all whilst carrying out their current task of grazing, grooming, exercising, socialising or dozing.
This is a living-state we can positively learn and benefit from; one of being anchored in the space (present moment), whilst completing the stuff (tasks) of the day. We call it the 200% experience of life. The invitation is to intentionally develop a strong and permanent awareness of omni-present space (the inner 100%), so that we can choose for it, no matter our stuff (the outer 100%). It means we can be experiencing chaos (including our thinking) on the outside, but still have an experience of spaciousness on the inside. Free from the constricts of life. Free to be.
A client’s story
Martha was a coaching client that wanted help dealing with stress. One thing I am mindful of is the energy I take into the horse’s space. Like most people, Martha had been living life highly focused on the stuff in their life, particularly the stuff she didn’t like. Before we entered the field, I invited her to do an awareness meditation.
We started with a whole-body scan, finishing with her putting her attention far and wide, up and down, forwards and backwards. From this space I invited her to step into the field and start by simply and gently observing the environment. This included the smell of the earth, the sounds of the birds, the feel of the wind on her face and the solidness of the ground beneath her. We both commented on how wonderful it was to do this, and we agreed, we don’t stop and just be in nature and around animals enough.
After a while the horses seemed keen to be included, so from this space I invited Martha to connect with each of the horses. The first horse went well and was keen to engage. The second horse seemed less interested. As Martha approached the second horse you could see from the tension in Martha’s body there were a lot of thoughts happening for her around how this experience might go. As she had already seemingly predicted, as soon as she approached the horse moved away, choosing not to return the invitation to connect.
Despondent, she looked back to ask why? In truth, I didn’t know what the horse was saying, but as with much of this work we let expectations and outcomes go and let ourselves to be present to what arises. After a while she’d managed to stroke the horse’s neck, before the horse indicated she was done and moved off to another part of the field.
When I commented as much to the client, she dropped the task and headed back, lifting her eyes and opening her field of awareness as she did. At that moment, the horse stopped eating, walked the 3 meters between the client and her and made a purposeful connection with her. When Martha let go and was in an open and expansive space, the horse chose to connect.
Being self-aware
The words I hear from clients the most when they have been around horses are peaceful, calming and relaxing. It’s because the horses have helped them broaden their horizons and put their awareness on something much bigger – the space they are in. By sharing this, whenever a client notices they are tense they get to choose again to be like the horse and put their attention on space and the stuff magically just melts away.
That is what the horses and I are here for; to remind our clients that freedom is always present, wherever they are and whenever they remember. Now, that is freedom! ~*~
Martha was a coaching client that wanted help dealing with stress. One thing I am mindful of is the energy I take into the horse’s space. Like most people, Martha had been living life highly focused on the stuff in their life, particularly the stuff she didn’t like. Before we entered the field, I invited her to do an awareness meditation.
We started with a whole-body scan, finishing with her putting her attention far and wide, up and down, forwards and backwards. From this space I invited her to step into the field and start by simply and gently observing the environment. This included the smell of the earth, the sounds of the birds, the feel of the wind on her face and the solidness of the ground beneath her. We both commented on how wonderful it was to do this, and we agreed, we don’t stop and just be in nature and around animals enough.
After a while the horses seemed keen to be included, so from this space I invited Martha to connect with each of the horses. The first horse went well and was keen to engage. The second horse seemed less interested. As Martha approached the second horse you could see from the tension in Martha’s body there were a lot of thoughts happening for her around how this experience might go. As she had already seemingly predicted, as soon as she approached the horse moved away, choosing not to return the invitation to connect.
Despondent, she looked back to ask why? In truth, I didn’t know what the horse was saying, but as with much of this work we let expectations and outcomes go and let ourselves to be present to what arises. After a while she’d managed to stroke the horse’s neck, before the horse indicated she was done and moved off to another part of the field.
When I commented as much to the client, she dropped the task and headed back, lifting her eyes and opening her field of awareness as she did. At that moment, the horse stopped eating, walked the 3 meters between the client and her and made a purposeful connection with her. When Martha let go and was in an open and expansive space, the horse chose to connect.
Being self-aware
The words I hear from clients the most when they have been around horses are peaceful, calming and relaxing. It’s because the horses have helped them broaden their horizons and put their awareness on something much bigger – the space they are in. By sharing this, whenever a client notices they are tense they get to choose again to be like the horse and put their attention on space and the stuff magically just melts away.
That is what the horses and I are here for; to remind our clients that freedom is always present, wherever they are and whenever they remember. Now, that is freedom! ~*~
GAAWO – Gently Alert Attention Wide Open
I am trained to teach a technique called GAAWO. GAAWO is an acronym and stands for Gently Alert Attention Wide Open.
It is a way to describe to people how to open up their awareness from being focused on one thing and feeling it very intensely,
to be open focused and feeling open, resourceful and expansive.
It is necessary to play with GAAWO; you can’t think about it and you can’t do it later.
We teach GAAWO by asking people to find something to look at about eye height and to gently rest their gaze on it. From there, we invite them to remain looking directly ahead, but now expand what they are able to see by taking in everything above and below, left and right. It means whilst still looking straight ahead, we are now using our peripheral vision to take in the whole vista equally. Perfect to do in an open space. Ask someone what their experience is when they do this, and they will typically reply vast, expansive, empty-headed, open, free-ing and clear.
Becci Godfrey Bio
Becci Godrey Bio
After several years working in the private, public and charitable sectors, Becci realised horses provided an unparalleled learning experience for personal and professional development. Accompanied by her herd, she set about bringing the wisdom of horses into everyday life through corporate training, one day personal development programmes and one to one experiences, alongside her coaching and healing work. Becci adopted Emma's Networking Neighs model in 2014 and has successfully been offering them as a platform for making a deeper connections from her venue in East Sussex, UK ever since. www.HorseSenseUK.com
Be sure to check out Becci's Humanity Needs the Horses interview as well as her presentation with Emma Taylor in the Humans Connecting with Horses Conference 2020, Networking Neighs.
After several years working in the private, public and charitable sectors, Becci realised horses provided an unparalleled learning experience for personal and professional development. Accompanied by her herd, she set about bringing the wisdom of horses into everyday life through corporate training, one day personal development programmes and one to one experiences, alongside her coaching and healing work. Becci adopted Emma's Networking Neighs model in 2014 and has successfully been offering them as a platform for making a deeper connections from her venue in East Sussex, UK ever since. www.HorseSenseUK.com
Be sure to check out Becci's Humanity Needs the Horses interview as well as her presentation with Emma Taylor in the Humans Connecting with Horses Conference 2020, Networking Neighs.