THE HEALING POWER OF BEING SEEN AND UNDERSTOOD
By: Kim Hallin, USA
“The horses understand my desire to be among a community in sync and harmony with each other and the environment. They appreciate my openness and willingness to seek harmony with all. The first time I visited I received a beautiful gift from Puck of strength, stability, and wisdom. The horses are teaching me to have a new respect for distance. I’ve learned the importance of space and the quiet power of energy and intention. The horses gift me joy and universal awareness every time I visit.”
Reverend King
Reverend Christian King is the founder and Director of The Pink House, a grassroots community center nestled in the heart of one of Charleston, South Carolina’s most under-resourced neighborhoods. In 1997, Rev. King was stunned to discover the reading challenges confronted by the neighborhood youth who were in her bible study class. Determined not to let these children slip through the cracks, she and her husband embarked on a Herculean task. They scraped together the money to purchase a dilapidated building in the heart of the neighborhood and committed to renovating it into a learning center. Rev. King felt confident the greater Charleston community would be eager to lend support to such an urgent effort. Instead, she was reminded just how easy it is for those outside the neighborhood to turn a blind eye. Twenty-three years later, Reverend King says she and the neighborhood families served through The Pink House still struggle with feeling unseen… but that feeling changes when they spend time with horses through the Urban Equine Connection Program (UECP).
The UECP was founded by two passionate women who share the same name, and a common vision of unity. We refer to ourselves as sisters and encourage program participants to distinguish us only as ‘Kim’ and ‘Kimberly’. I, Kim Hallin, am a solopreneur who’s been offering experiential learning with horses to the greater Charleston community for the past four years. Like any prudent business owner, I intentionally set my rates to ensure I can cover my farm overhead. This means my programs and services aren’t accessible financially to large segments of the local population–– a reality that’s become pervasive throughout the equine industry. It weighs heavy on my heart to contribute to that divide. But as a solopreneur with limited time, resources and energy, I struggled to grapple effectively with this dilemma… until the summer of 2020. That’s when I received a call from Kimberly Mills (a.k.a Kimberly), host of the weekly iHeart radio show, From Grief to Greatness. In her own words:
“Meeting my sister, Kim, was one of the highlights of the Pandemic for me. I was in search of different forms of therapy to share with my radio show listeners and a mutual acquaintance suggested I reach out to Kim Hallin to learn more about her experiential learning business called Unbridled. When we spoke by phone, I knew immediately that I needed to be connected with Kim. She shared some of her story and talked about how her horses had helped to change her life. I was intrigued. I had never thought of horses being able to communicate, connect or heal humans.”
“Meeting my sister, Kim, was one of the highlights of the Pandemic for me. I was in search of different forms of therapy to share with my radio show listeners and a mutual acquaintance suggested I reach out to Kim Hallin to learn more about her experiential learning business called Unbridled. When we spoke by phone, I knew immediately that I needed to be connected with Kim. She shared some of her story and talked about how her horses had helped to change her life. I was intrigued. I had never thought of horses being able to communicate, connect or heal humans.”
Resonance
By and large, when I attempt to explain the transformative power of experiential learning with horses over the phone, I’m met with a hazy sense of wonder and curiosity that has no context in which to be grounded. But Kimberly got it. My stories seemed to touch her soul. Her intrinsic excitement stirred mine. Then she spoke the words my heart had been waiting to hear: “Communities of color need this experience. Black men need this experience. Black women and children need this experience. People of all races, cultures and religions who have been falling through the cracks need this experience.” Tears of joy and relief swelled up in my eyes. Here was a woman I’d never met and who had no experience with horses aside from a few brief encounters with the carriage horses whose daily tour route ran past the office where she once worked in downtown Charleston, and yet she got it. When I invited Kimberly and her daughter, JaKiyah, out to the farm to experience the power of ‘horses healing humans, healing horses’ for themselves I already knew we were on the brink of something amazing.
“Kim opened our eyes to a whole different world in regard to horses,” Kimberly explains. “Never once had I thought about the natural lives of horses before, or even considered what horses were actually born to be (wild). If you’d asked, I would have told you that God put horses on this earth to pull carts, to be ridden and to do whatever work humans need them to do… because that’s all I had ever seen or understood or been told. Kiyah and I arrived at Unbridled the first time feeling intimidated about being near the horses. Truthfully, my daughter was downright afraid. But Kim taught us about the true nature of horses. Pretty soon we both felt safe enough to go into the pasture with her to join her herd. Puck, who is also a mother, was the first horse to connect with me. She is so sweet and kind. After seeing how gentle Puck was with me, Kiyah got curious and found the courage to come over and touch her. It was such a powerful moment for us both, to be experiencing that breakthrough together, and to understand that horses have far more reason to fear us than we do to fear them.”
After her visit to Unbridled, Kimberly was hooked. “I knew we had to share the experience with as many people as we could, and Kim was right on the same page. We agreed that if more people could learn from horses about positive connection, respecting space, boundaries and how to communicate effectively without making a sound, then maybe– just maybe – they could begin to heal and grow regardless of what they might be going through.”
By and large, when I attempt to explain the transformative power of experiential learning with horses over the phone, I’m met with a hazy sense of wonder and curiosity that has no context in which to be grounded. But Kimberly got it. My stories seemed to touch her soul. Her intrinsic excitement stirred mine. Then she spoke the words my heart had been waiting to hear: “Communities of color need this experience. Black men need this experience. Black women and children need this experience. People of all races, cultures and religions who have been falling through the cracks need this experience.” Tears of joy and relief swelled up in my eyes. Here was a woman I’d never met and who had no experience with horses aside from a few brief encounters with the carriage horses whose daily tour route ran past the office where she once worked in downtown Charleston, and yet she got it. When I invited Kimberly and her daughter, JaKiyah, out to the farm to experience the power of ‘horses healing humans, healing horses’ for themselves I already knew we were on the brink of something amazing.
“Kim opened our eyes to a whole different world in regard to horses,” Kimberly explains. “Never once had I thought about the natural lives of horses before, or even considered what horses were actually born to be (wild). If you’d asked, I would have told you that God put horses on this earth to pull carts, to be ridden and to do whatever work humans need them to do… because that’s all I had ever seen or understood or been told. Kiyah and I arrived at Unbridled the first time feeling intimidated about being near the horses. Truthfully, my daughter was downright afraid. But Kim taught us about the true nature of horses. Pretty soon we both felt safe enough to go into the pasture with her to join her herd. Puck, who is also a mother, was the first horse to connect with me. She is so sweet and kind. After seeing how gentle Puck was with me, Kiyah got curious and found the courage to come over and touch her. It was such a powerful moment for us both, to be experiencing that breakthrough together, and to understand that horses have far more reason to fear us than we do to fear them.”
After her visit to Unbridled, Kimberly was hooked. “I knew we had to share the experience with as many people as we could, and Kim was right on the same page. We agreed that if more people could learn from horses about positive connection, respecting space, boundaries and how to communicate effectively without making a sound, then maybe– just maybe – they could begin to heal and grow regardless of what they might be going through.”
A Natural Evolution
Less than a month later, we co-founded the Urban Equine Connection Program. Kiyah serves as a junior co-founder, attending many of the sessions to lend support to other children, helping them feel safe and more confident around the horses. The UECP sessions are always co-facilitated by Kim and Kimberly together and are held on weekends to accommodate Kimberly’s work schedule. In the beginning, she invited participants from her own neighborhood, local churches and even her daughter’s school. We worked together to secure a few corporate sponsorships and some private donations, allowing us to pay ourselves a fair facilitation fee while offering the UECP sessions for free to children and families who otherwise would never have access. Before long, our outreach expanded and we now collaborate with several grassroots non-profits including The Pink House, an organization called I AM VOICES that serves victims of sexual violence while operating a transition house for women in need of shelter and resources as they get back on their feet, and a local program called BE A MENTOR.
“The connections we’ve made and created through this program are immeasurable,” Kimberly says. “And I myself have benefited so much.” Her voice cracks with emotion as she talks about a special horse named Markus who passed away in March of 2021. “I’ve been able to make some difficult decisions in my life this past year that I don’t think I would have had the strength to make if it hadn’t been for Markus. He and I shared a strong bond. Markus knew that I was carrying some waste in my life that I needed to get rid of. His way of communicating this to me was stern and direct. During a session we were facilitating, Markus marched over to me and promptly released a big pile of manure at my feet, then walked off. The children giggled, but I knew exactly what Markus was saying. It was time for me to release all the toxic “crap” from my life. He could see what I was carrying inside me that no one else could see. Being seen and understood at that level and to have my trusted friend show me what I needed to do before he passed was such a gift. And I’ve done just what he told me! Working with Kim and her horse family has changed my life for the better. I’ve acquired such a huge respect and love for the community of horses.”
Last month, Kimberly achieved a lifelong dream of opening her own non-profit called Sweet J’s Clubhouse which serves children and youth who are struggling with the loss of a loved one by providing services and resources to help them cope more effectively with their grief, including spending time with the horses through the UECP. In our wildest imaginations, Kimberly and I could never have envisioned what has organically evolved at the juncture of inter-racial and cross-species connection and collaboration. Her natural talent for connecting authentically and the ease with which we co-facilitate with the herd are powerful. This whole experience has been a precious gift to me, confirming I am on the right path and I am supported, not only in business but in all of life. The interactions we facilitate as members of a unified, cohesive herd are flexible, authentic and heart-centered. And the kinship we share creates an atmosphere of trust and openness for our participants, allowing the most amazing bridges to be built, delicate wounds to be tended, and powerful paradigms to be shifted.
UECP participants arrive knowing very little about horses and leave knowing they have a whole herd of four-legged friends. On a soul level, learning to see and appreciate others for who they are helps us see and appreciate ourselves for who we are. This experience nurtures feelings of greater self-worth and wellbeing, which carries over into all areas of life. Sometimes the transformation we see in participants is obvious and immediate; other times the shifts are more subtle. But one thing is true every single time: what’s learned in the herd extends far beyond it. ~*~
Less than a month later, we co-founded the Urban Equine Connection Program. Kiyah serves as a junior co-founder, attending many of the sessions to lend support to other children, helping them feel safe and more confident around the horses. The UECP sessions are always co-facilitated by Kim and Kimberly together and are held on weekends to accommodate Kimberly’s work schedule. In the beginning, she invited participants from her own neighborhood, local churches and even her daughter’s school. We worked together to secure a few corporate sponsorships and some private donations, allowing us to pay ourselves a fair facilitation fee while offering the UECP sessions for free to children and families who otherwise would never have access. Before long, our outreach expanded and we now collaborate with several grassroots non-profits including The Pink House, an organization called I AM VOICES that serves victims of sexual violence while operating a transition house for women in need of shelter and resources as they get back on their feet, and a local program called BE A MENTOR.
“The connections we’ve made and created through this program are immeasurable,” Kimberly says. “And I myself have benefited so much.” Her voice cracks with emotion as she talks about a special horse named Markus who passed away in March of 2021. “I’ve been able to make some difficult decisions in my life this past year that I don’t think I would have had the strength to make if it hadn’t been for Markus. He and I shared a strong bond. Markus knew that I was carrying some waste in my life that I needed to get rid of. His way of communicating this to me was stern and direct. During a session we were facilitating, Markus marched over to me and promptly released a big pile of manure at my feet, then walked off. The children giggled, but I knew exactly what Markus was saying. It was time for me to release all the toxic “crap” from my life. He could see what I was carrying inside me that no one else could see. Being seen and understood at that level and to have my trusted friend show me what I needed to do before he passed was such a gift. And I’ve done just what he told me! Working with Kim and her horse family has changed my life for the better. I’ve acquired such a huge respect and love for the community of horses.”
Last month, Kimberly achieved a lifelong dream of opening her own non-profit called Sweet J’s Clubhouse which serves children and youth who are struggling with the loss of a loved one by providing services and resources to help them cope more effectively with their grief, including spending time with the horses through the UECP. In our wildest imaginations, Kimberly and I could never have envisioned what has organically evolved at the juncture of inter-racial and cross-species connection and collaboration. Her natural talent for connecting authentically and the ease with which we co-facilitate with the herd are powerful. This whole experience has been a precious gift to me, confirming I am on the right path and I am supported, not only in business but in all of life. The interactions we facilitate as members of a unified, cohesive herd are flexible, authentic and heart-centered. And the kinship we share creates an atmosphere of trust and openness for our participants, allowing the most amazing bridges to be built, delicate wounds to be tended, and powerful paradigms to be shifted.
UECP participants arrive knowing very little about horses and leave knowing they have a whole herd of four-legged friends. On a soul level, learning to see and appreciate others for who they are helps us see and appreciate ourselves for who we are. This experience nurtures feelings of greater self-worth and wellbeing, which carries over into all areas of life. Sometimes the transformation we see in participants is obvious and immediate; other times the shifts are more subtle. But one thing is true every single time: what’s learned in the herd extends far beyond it. ~*~
Below are two of the hand-written reflections written and drawn by participants as part of the “creative debriefing” we facilitate at the end of every Urban Equine Connection Program (UECP) session.
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