WITHOUT A WORD
Beliefs, Boundaries, and Freedom from a Horse’s Perspective
By: Diana Gogan
Kimberly craved it so much she didn’t give a second thought to the precarious situation she’d put herself in. Her stomach was anxious and in knots as the horse moved around the stall. Yet, the warmth of the horse’s breath began to melt the formidable shell she’d built around her heart. Willing to risk the consequences in order to feel connected, accepted and seen, she lost herself in the experience. However, there was more going on than she was aware.
You see, the behaviors of the horse showed the horse wasn’t having the same experience she was. This was the opening she didn’t know she’d been waiting for. An opportunity to learn from a horse how to become a better version of herself, all without exchanging a single word.
Stephen, excited to be spending time with horses, suddenly found himself anxious and uneasy as he stood next to Butler, a majestic ex-racehorse. He felt his excitement being quickly eroded by the fear of well-meaning voices from the past that forewarned of the dangers of being near horses, particularly the hind end. According to these voices, horses kick those who walk behind them. He could vividly imagine the type of pain and harm such a kick would cause. Unbeknownst to Stephen, Butler was also feeling everything Stephen was feeling, even though Stephen thought he was masking it well. Like Kimberly, Stephen was setting himself up for an experience ripe with wisdom and teachings from a horse. An experience that would help him move through the fear holding him back from a big life opportunity. All without exchanging a single word with the horse.
Over the years I’ve personally experienced, as well as observed, similar exchanges between horse and human. Those drawn to horses relish the opportunity for a horse whisperer style connection with these majestic beings. Those lucky enough to step into their realm and experience them heart-to-heart are generously rewarded with transformational insight and wisdom.
What is it about horses that has such a powerful effect on us? Is it their physical presence, their smell, the soft touch of their muzzle on your cheek, or the vast depths of connection you find when looking deep into their eyes? Perhaps we simply call it their essence, a magnificent blend of their physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual qualities. Their ability to sense the unseen and feel the slightest shift in energy. Their interconnectedness to all in their environment and ability to instinctually respond to what is experienced.
Regardless of the label we give it, the essence of a horse has the power to transform lives, create powerful moments of self-discovery, and touch us deep within our souls. Sometimes this essence presents itself as a whisper, and other times as a boisterous, attention getting yell. No matter the volume, it often strikes a chord within us that can lead to transformation.
How can this be? After all, we don’t speak horse and they don’t speak our language. Thankfully, this isn’t a limitation. It’s a deceptive boundary designed to separate rather than harmoniously bring us together. When transcended, it’s an opportunity to expand our communication to greater levels of understanding, which includes body language, energy and emotion. It’s an opportunity to experience a knowing that resonates deep within your body and your heart.
Stephen, excited to be spending time with horses, suddenly found himself anxious and uneasy as he stood next to Butler, a majestic ex-racehorse. He felt his excitement being quickly eroded by the fear of well-meaning voices from the past that forewarned of the dangers of being near horses, particularly the hind end. According to these voices, horses kick those who walk behind them. He could vividly imagine the type of pain and harm such a kick would cause. Unbeknownst to Stephen, Butler was also feeling everything Stephen was feeling, even though Stephen thought he was masking it well. Like Kimberly, Stephen was setting himself up for an experience ripe with wisdom and teachings from a horse. An experience that would help him move through the fear holding him back from a big life opportunity. All without exchanging a single word with the horse.
Over the years I’ve personally experienced, as well as observed, similar exchanges between horse and human. Those drawn to horses relish the opportunity for a horse whisperer style connection with these majestic beings. Those lucky enough to step into their realm and experience them heart-to-heart are generously rewarded with transformational insight and wisdom.
What is it about horses that has such a powerful effect on us? Is it their physical presence, their smell, the soft touch of their muzzle on your cheek, or the vast depths of connection you find when looking deep into their eyes? Perhaps we simply call it their essence, a magnificent blend of their physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual qualities. Their ability to sense the unseen and feel the slightest shift in energy. Their interconnectedness to all in their environment and ability to instinctually respond to what is experienced.
Regardless of the label we give it, the essence of a horse has the power to transform lives, create powerful moments of self-discovery, and touch us deep within our souls. Sometimes this essence presents itself as a whisper, and other times as a boisterous, attention getting yell. No matter the volume, it often strikes a chord within us that can lead to transformation.
How can this be? After all, we don’t speak horse and they don’t speak our language. Thankfully, this isn’t a limitation. It’s a deceptive boundary designed to separate rather than harmoniously bring us together. When transcended, it’s an opportunity to expand our communication to greater levels of understanding, which includes body language, energy and emotion. It’s an opportunity to experience a knowing that resonates deep within your body and your heart.
Kimberly’s Experience
In the middle of a divorce in which she felt taken advantage of, Kimberly felt she couldn’t find her voice nor the confidence to use it even if she did. Feeling invisible, unwanted, and inconsequential she’d hoped spending time with a horse would make her feel better. And it was proving to be so. However, observing her interactions with Princess, it became clear she continued to operate under the same beliefs and self-imposed boundaries she faced in the challenging aspects of her divorce. She couldn’t see it, but Princess clearly did.
Shortly after entering Princess’s stall Kimberly walked up and touched her shoulder. Princess softly leaned into her, causing Kimberley to take a couple of steps backward to catch her balance. The unexpectedness of this movement also caused her to catch her breath. Kimberley continued to stay with Princess, enjoying the attention and closeness.
During their time together Princess moved Kimberley around the stall. Every now and then Kimberley found herself quickly moving her feet to avoid getting stepped on or taking an extra step to catch her balance. Not once did she push back or move Princess away.
Kimberly walked out of the stall with a smile on her face. She’d felt connected to Princess, felt seen, felt acknowledged. She shared that she indeed experienced moments of concern and sometimes fear about being stepped on or knocked over. Yet, because it had happened so gently, she allowed Princess to push her around. She didn’t want to push Princess away for fear of being rejected. As soon as those words crossed her lips an empowering new understanding came to the forefront.
When others assertively pushed her boundaries, it was easy for her to resist and hold her ground. However, when someone nicely or gently crossed her boundaries, she allowed it to happen. She didn’t want to ruffle feathers and figured it was a small price to pay to feel acknowledged, no matter how it made her feel inside.
With this newfound awareness, she was now curious to see how Princess would react to new boundaries she felt she could put firmly in place.
This time she quickly recognized the signals felt in her body and became aware of her emotions when Princess pushed her around. Acknowledging how she felt and more confidently standing her ground, enabled her to clearly set boundaries and make corrections with Princess when needed. Princess quickly adapted. She respected Kimberly’s boundaries, enabling their connection to be stronger and more in sync than their previous experience.
With greater confidence after her time with Princess, Kimberly put into practice the lessons she’d learned. She experienced a new kind of freedom as she established clear boundaries with people and situations that had once left her feeling powerless and used. With great excitement she saw other relationships in her life blossom and flourish with the clarity and stability boundaries gave her.
In the middle of a divorce in which she felt taken advantage of, Kimberly felt she couldn’t find her voice nor the confidence to use it even if she did. Feeling invisible, unwanted, and inconsequential she’d hoped spending time with a horse would make her feel better. And it was proving to be so. However, observing her interactions with Princess, it became clear she continued to operate under the same beliefs and self-imposed boundaries she faced in the challenging aspects of her divorce. She couldn’t see it, but Princess clearly did.
Shortly after entering Princess’s stall Kimberly walked up and touched her shoulder. Princess softly leaned into her, causing Kimberley to take a couple of steps backward to catch her balance. The unexpectedness of this movement also caused her to catch her breath. Kimberley continued to stay with Princess, enjoying the attention and closeness.
During their time together Princess moved Kimberley around the stall. Every now and then Kimberley found herself quickly moving her feet to avoid getting stepped on or taking an extra step to catch her balance. Not once did she push back or move Princess away.
Kimberly walked out of the stall with a smile on her face. She’d felt connected to Princess, felt seen, felt acknowledged. She shared that she indeed experienced moments of concern and sometimes fear about being stepped on or knocked over. Yet, because it had happened so gently, she allowed Princess to push her around. She didn’t want to push Princess away for fear of being rejected. As soon as those words crossed her lips an empowering new understanding came to the forefront.
When others assertively pushed her boundaries, it was easy for her to resist and hold her ground. However, when someone nicely or gently crossed her boundaries, she allowed it to happen. She didn’t want to ruffle feathers and figured it was a small price to pay to feel acknowledged, no matter how it made her feel inside.
With this newfound awareness, she was now curious to see how Princess would react to new boundaries she felt she could put firmly in place.
This time she quickly recognized the signals felt in her body and became aware of her emotions when Princess pushed her around. Acknowledging how she felt and more confidently standing her ground, enabled her to clearly set boundaries and make corrections with Princess when needed. Princess quickly adapted. She respected Kimberly’s boundaries, enabling their connection to be stronger and more in sync than their previous experience.
With greater confidence after her time with Princess, Kimberly put into practice the lessons she’d learned. She experienced a new kind of freedom as she established clear boundaries with people and situations that had once left her feeling powerless and used. With great excitement she saw other relationships in her life blossom and flourish with the clarity and stability boundaries gave her.
Stephen’s Experience
After years of dreaming and planning, the very thing Stephen wanted most in life was his for the taking. Yet now that it was within his grasp, deep fear overshadowed his excitement. Doubts and uncertainty challenged him with harsh criticism. He knew if he let fear tie his hands, the opportunity he’d waited for would be gone, and his dream would crumble to dust. Surprisingly, the fear that gripped him didn’t seem to belong to him, yet it controlled him. Something that made no sense to Stephen.
As we talked, he mentioned that he’d loved horses for many years, but he’d never had the opportunity to be with one. I couldn’t let that opportunity pass. I invited him to meet my horse Butler, a majestic, retired racehorse, fully realizing this encounter could turn into something more if Stephen allowed it.
When the day finally came, Stephen arrived full of anticipation. Yet, when I brought him into the arena with Butler, I could see fear quickly consuming his excitement. His body tensed and his breath became shallow. The shift was palpable. Butler felt it and I saw him tune into the change that was taking place.
Stephen and I talked about what was happening and he revealed his concern about being kicked by a horse. This turned into a life changing experience between Stephen and Butler.
At first, Stephen’s body remained tense and there were moments he held his breath while walking from one side of Butler to the other, especially around the back end. Butler similarly responded and warily shifted his weight and feet, turning his head and often his body to keep an eye on Stephen.
After facing his fear walking around Butler, including closely behind him, Stephen emerged stronger, ready to repeat the exercise again with greater confidence. He discovered when he relaxed his body, Butler did as well. When his breath found a calm rhythm, so did Butler’s. When he was able to stay in a harmonious state, Butler let out a deep sigh and dropped his head.
Through his experience Stephen discovered two powerful insights that forever changed his relationship with fear. First, many times fears or perceived limitations, are inherited from others such as family, friends, groups/communities, or society at large. They aren’t even ours! Second, fear is an illusion. Fear creates a story that, when challenged, quickly vanishes like a bully when confronted with courage and determination.
Weeks later I received a message from Stephen regarding the dream opportunity that had sparked fear in him. The freedom he discovered while walking through his fear with Butler gave him the confidence to say yes to that dream opportunity and go for it!
After years of dreaming and planning, the very thing Stephen wanted most in life was his for the taking. Yet now that it was within his grasp, deep fear overshadowed his excitement. Doubts and uncertainty challenged him with harsh criticism. He knew if he let fear tie his hands, the opportunity he’d waited for would be gone, and his dream would crumble to dust. Surprisingly, the fear that gripped him didn’t seem to belong to him, yet it controlled him. Something that made no sense to Stephen.
As we talked, he mentioned that he’d loved horses for many years, but he’d never had the opportunity to be with one. I couldn’t let that opportunity pass. I invited him to meet my horse Butler, a majestic, retired racehorse, fully realizing this encounter could turn into something more if Stephen allowed it.
When the day finally came, Stephen arrived full of anticipation. Yet, when I brought him into the arena with Butler, I could see fear quickly consuming his excitement. His body tensed and his breath became shallow. The shift was palpable. Butler felt it and I saw him tune into the change that was taking place.
Stephen and I talked about what was happening and he revealed his concern about being kicked by a horse. This turned into a life changing experience between Stephen and Butler.
At first, Stephen’s body remained tense and there were moments he held his breath while walking from one side of Butler to the other, especially around the back end. Butler similarly responded and warily shifted his weight and feet, turning his head and often his body to keep an eye on Stephen.
After facing his fear walking around Butler, including closely behind him, Stephen emerged stronger, ready to repeat the exercise again with greater confidence. He discovered when he relaxed his body, Butler did as well. When his breath found a calm rhythm, so did Butler’s. When he was able to stay in a harmonious state, Butler let out a deep sigh and dropped his head.
Through his experience Stephen discovered two powerful insights that forever changed his relationship with fear. First, many times fears or perceived limitations, are inherited from others such as family, friends, groups/communities, or society at large. They aren’t even ours! Second, fear is an illusion. Fear creates a story that, when challenged, quickly vanishes like a bully when confronted with courage and determination.
Weeks later I received a message from Stephen regarding the dream opportunity that had sparked fear in him. The freedom he discovered while walking through his fear with Butler gave him the confidence to say yes to that dream opportunity and go for it!
Unmatched Experiences
Kimberley and Stephen’s experiences with horses are more common than one might think. Remarkable things happen when perceived barriers between human and horse are dropped. When we give ourselves the gift of moving beyond archaic boundaries of dominance and superiority, the horse graciously welcomes us into their world as an equal. And within that space they share wisdom and deep insights that help us evolve into greater versions of ourselves.
The possibilities are endless, the experience unmatched. Without exchange of a word, the touch of a horse on your heart leaves a lasting impression that can forever change you. I believe whoever said this quote said it best, “Let a horse whisper in your ear and breathe on your heart. You will never regret it.”~*~
Kimberley and Stephen’s experiences with horses are more common than one might think. Remarkable things happen when perceived barriers between human and horse are dropped. When we give ourselves the gift of moving beyond archaic boundaries of dominance and superiority, the horse graciously welcomes us into their world as an equal. And within that space they share wisdom and deep insights that help us evolve into greater versions of ourselves.
The possibilities are endless, the experience unmatched. Without exchange of a word, the touch of a horse on your heart leaves a lasting impression that can forever change you. I believe whoever said this quote said it best, “Let a horse whisper in your ear and breathe on your heart. You will never regret it.”~*~
