ALLOWING AND HEALING WITH HORSES
By: Kelly Jones, U.S.A.
When she walked into the paddock the small bay mare slowly and carefully made her way over to gently greet the new human.
Immediately the young woman’s shoulders relaxed and a bright smile lit up her face.
It was the beginning of what would be a beautiful journey to healing and renewal.
Immediately the young woman’s shoulders relaxed and a bright smile lit up her face.
It was the beginning of what would be a beautiful journey to healing and renewal.
|
grief
/ɡrēf/ Noun deep sorrow |
heal
/hēl/ Verb to become sound or healthy again |
Humans in the West tend to underestimate the power and necessity of grief to heal. Grief is related to loss. Loss is common and disrupts our lives, forces change, and creates a need to establish a new normal. Loss of a loved one, a home, a natural habitat, a dream, a friend, a job or business, purpose, of love and even the loss of a false sense of self. Allowing for the loss and experiencing grief is a natural step in the healing process. This opens space to allow for joy to enter in once again. Without taking this difficult but necessary step in the process of healing, humans can get stuck.
Loss Then Moving On
Trauma causes loss. It disrupts our sense of safety which can ripple through our lives wreaking havoc. It can affect our health, relationships, vocation and even the ability to remain present and engaged in life. Physiologically trauma impacts the nervous system, initiating a survival response as was intended. Not allowing for grief, compartmentalizing and pushing emotions and bodily sensations away, disengages us from our bodies. This sense of floating in the world, lost and without purpose, can become that reoccurring nightmare that stalks our sleep and even our time awake. Restlessness, sleeplessness, anxiety, depression, manic behaviors and even checking out or disassociating settle in as normal. Happiness becomes something only other people have. All because of a fear that if grief is allowed to permeate our beings, it would stay forever.
Without the authenticity and congruency found when humans help other humans, healing cannot truly occur. In order to heal our brains must sense safety and, in turn, allow the body to rest. This involves a slower heart rate, slower breathing, lower blood pressure and an awakening of senses such as sight, smell, touch and taste.
The presence of horses in this process facilitates this connection to self along this journey to rediscover peace and joy, re-engaging our senses and awareness. Horses have a giant energy force surrounding them all of the time and because of this, a trusting interaction between horse and human can powerfully move a human into a space for healing. Their constant powerful presence in the moment, opening space, and their authentic immediate feedback, serve to reconnect and restore. This physiological, emotional and spiritual experience is deeply impactful. If allowed this can shift us out of being disconnected and into our bodies to feel grief and allow it to flow through and out. This is a natural process seen frequently in nature when animals experience trauma and loss.
For example, horses grieve. Their lives are dependent on social interactions with one another and they are hard-wired for relationships. When taken from their mothers, their herds, their homes or beloved owners, there should be an expectation that they will grieve. Wild stallions grieve the loss of mares to other stallions, while mares mourn the loss of friendships and offspring. When humans observe the grieving process of horses, they will notice that there is deep grief and then there is healing. It is usually short-lived and powerful, yet seemingly simple to our untrained eyes. Death is part of life. Loss is part of living. They seem to recognize these truths and remain connected to those around them while continuing along the journey of life. They do not shy away from death or sadness. There is no fear associated with the recognition of the loss of life. Only allowing; and then moving on.
Loss Then Moving On
Trauma causes loss. It disrupts our sense of safety which can ripple through our lives wreaking havoc. It can affect our health, relationships, vocation and even the ability to remain present and engaged in life. Physiologically trauma impacts the nervous system, initiating a survival response as was intended. Not allowing for grief, compartmentalizing and pushing emotions and bodily sensations away, disengages us from our bodies. This sense of floating in the world, lost and without purpose, can become that reoccurring nightmare that stalks our sleep and even our time awake. Restlessness, sleeplessness, anxiety, depression, manic behaviors and even checking out or disassociating settle in as normal. Happiness becomes something only other people have. All because of a fear that if grief is allowed to permeate our beings, it would stay forever.
Without the authenticity and congruency found when humans help other humans, healing cannot truly occur. In order to heal our brains must sense safety and, in turn, allow the body to rest. This involves a slower heart rate, slower breathing, lower blood pressure and an awakening of senses such as sight, smell, touch and taste.
The presence of horses in this process facilitates this connection to self along this journey to rediscover peace and joy, re-engaging our senses and awareness. Horses have a giant energy force surrounding them all of the time and because of this, a trusting interaction between horse and human can powerfully move a human into a space for healing. Their constant powerful presence in the moment, opening space, and their authentic immediate feedback, serve to reconnect and restore. This physiological, emotional and spiritual experience is deeply impactful. If allowed this can shift us out of being disconnected and into our bodies to feel grief and allow it to flow through and out. This is a natural process seen frequently in nature when animals experience trauma and loss.
For example, horses grieve. Their lives are dependent on social interactions with one another and they are hard-wired for relationships. When taken from their mothers, their herds, their homes or beloved owners, there should be an expectation that they will grieve. Wild stallions grieve the loss of mares to other stallions, while mares mourn the loss of friendships and offspring. When humans observe the grieving process of horses, they will notice that there is deep grief and then there is healing. It is usually short-lived and powerful, yet seemingly simple to our untrained eyes. Death is part of life. Loss is part of living. They seem to recognize these truths and remain connected to those around them while continuing along the journey of life. They do not shy away from death or sadness. There is no fear associated with the recognition of the loss of life. Only allowing; and then moving on.
Angee's Journey
One example of this necessary process of grieving loss is the story of a young woman, Angee, who has a traumatic brain injury. A young college graduate with a bright future, she was walking home from work in her neighborhood one evening, and was struck by a truck that ran a stop sign. The impact caused her head to strike the hood of the truck. The momentum of the crash then threw her 20 feet away where her head came in contact with the concrete. She woke up in the hospital, not remembering what happened, and not knowing where she was.
Somehow this young woman fell through the cracks. She was discharged with a severe head trauma, and without any follow up care or therapy. With the help of friends and family she regained her strength, but the damage to her brain was done. She struggled with memory and speech. In addition, she struggled with many losses; a sense of safety, trust in a system that was supposed to help her, her job, of relationships and loss of confidence in herself and her identity.
This young woman bravely made an appointment with me, four years after her accident. She was in traditional talk therapy, trying desperately to regain her life and purpose. Many would have given up, but she had the courage, strength and resilience that was hard to miss. With the support of her therapist, she asked for help from my horses and me. So began Angee’s journey of healing with horses.
Reestablishing her ability to be present in her body was the first step. Walking slowly through the tree-covered trails, listening to the sounds of the birds singing, feeling the breeze going through the leaves and the crunch of acorns under our feet, started the process. A sense of belonging and connection was necessary to establishing safety in order for her body and brain to heal. Along with the slow process of reconnecting her body to her brain, she also needed to reconnect to her spirit or true essence.
Leda, a 20-year-old bay quarter horse mare, was the horse she chose for her journey. This mare is a gentle and strong soul, a horse I have been blessed to partner with for 16 years. She is honest as the day is long, gives nothing away and can sense pain in a human. She does not shy away. She moves into the pain, into the search for peace, and carefully supports those she helps. This time was no different.
It was powerful witnessing Leda move, gracefully and intentionally, into the space with Angee. Immediately she felt Leda’s presence and was drawn to her. Quiet, slow grooming ensued, with nothing to disrupt the growing trust in connection. Melting into her soft coat, soft tears began to fall as grieving was finally allowed. Leda moved into her and held her, supporting her through this moment, not afraid of the pain or shying away from the tears.
Learning that grief comes in waves, and that it is not ugly and destructive, is a powerful lesson. As the cleansing of grief happens, and the body begins the process of slowly letting go, relaxation starts to move in. Breath comes in, gentle and deep. With each inhale and exhale our client stood taller and her demeanor began to shift.
Within a few weeks this brave young woman was steadier on her feet. Her memory was better and her speech smoother. Angee had gained confidence and even made appointments to gain closure around her accident and the lack of follow up care. A neurologist assured her of her progress, which was affirming and empowering. A new job even presented itself!
Given the progress and steady increase in strength, it was time to reconnect Angee’s brain to her body. Mindfulness work around how her body was connected to the Earth and to Leda helped immensely. Finally, a noticeable quivering of her limbs established that her body was reconnecting itself and the sensation of connection flooded her body. Her therapist was joyful about her progress and recommended that she continue her journey with Leda.
I firmly believe that without Leda’s calming and strong presence throughout this process, Angee would not have made the progress that she has made. Only through the unconditional giving of healing strength by another sentient being, was she able to restore her spirit, body and mind to a place of healing and the prospect of joy, and a feeling of hope for a future.
Although loss is inevitable in this life, we must move forward, never forgetting that grieving loss is necessary to heal. Awareness of self is necessary for an open heart and mind ready to adjust to a new normal.
Today Angee is working towards a degree in nursing. She is also passionate about supporting new parents who are struggling. Her beautiful heart and regained strength are a gift to so many. Without taking the first step out of her comfort zone, and contacting me to work with a horse, she may not have regained the confidence to move forward and experience joy again. Horses truly do heal. ~*~
One example of this necessary process of grieving loss is the story of a young woman, Angee, who has a traumatic brain injury. A young college graduate with a bright future, she was walking home from work in her neighborhood one evening, and was struck by a truck that ran a stop sign. The impact caused her head to strike the hood of the truck. The momentum of the crash then threw her 20 feet away where her head came in contact with the concrete. She woke up in the hospital, not remembering what happened, and not knowing where she was.
Somehow this young woman fell through the cracks. She was discharged with a severe head trauma, and without any follow up care or therapy. With the help of friends and family she regained her strength, but the damage to her brain was done. She struggled with memory and speech. In addition, she struggled with many losses; a sense of safety, trust in a system that was supposed to help her, her job, of relationships and loss of confidence in herself and her identity.
This young woman bravely made an appointment with me, four years after her accident. She was in traditional talk therapy, trying desperately to regain her life and purpose. Many would have given up, but she had the courage, strength and resilience that was hard to miss. With the support of her therapist, she asked for help from my horses and me. So began Angee’s journey of healing with horses.
Reestablishing her ability to be present in her body was the first step. Walking slowly through the tree-covered trails, listening to the sounds of the birds singing, feeling the breeze going through the leaves and the crunch of acorns under our feet, started the process. A sense of belonging and connection was necessary to establishing safety in order for her body and brain to heal. Along with the slow process of reconnecting her body to her brain, she also needed to reconnect to her spirit or true essence.
Leda, a 20-year-old bay quarter horse mare, was the horse she chose for her journey. This mare is a gentle and strong soul, a horse I have been blessed to partner with for 16 years. She is honest as the day is long, gives nothing away and can sense pain in a human. She does not shy away. She moves into the pain, into the search for peace, and carefully supports those she helps. This time was no different.
It was powerful witnessing Leda move, gracefully and intentionally, into the space with Angee. Immediately she felt Leda’s presence and was drawn to her. Quiet, slow grooming ensued, with nothing to disrupt the growing trust in connection. Melting into her soft coat, soft tears began to fall as grieving was finally allowed. Leda moved into her and held her, supporting her through this moment, not afraid of the pain or shying away from the tears.
Learning that grief comes in waves, and that it is not ugly and destructive, is a powerful lesson. As the cleansing of grief happens, and the body begins the process of slowly letting go, relaxation starts to move in. Breath comes in, gentle and deep. With each inhale and exhale our client stood taller and her demeanor began to shift.
Within a few weeks this brave young woman was steadier on her feet. Her memory was better and her speech smoother. Angee had gained confidence and even made appointments to gain closure around her accident and the lack of follow up care. A neurologist assured her of her progress, which was affirming and empowering. A new job even presented itself!
Given the progress and steady increase in strength, it was time to reconnect Angee’s brain to her body. Mindfulness work around how her body was connected to the Earth and to Leda helped immensely. Finally, a noticeable quivering of her limbs established that her body was reconnecting itself and the sensation of connection flooded her body. Her therapist was joyful about her progress and recommended that she continue her journey with Leda.
I firmly believe that without Leda’s calming and strong presence throughout this process, Angee would not have made the progress that she has made. Only through the unconditional giving of healing strength by another sentient being, was she able to restore her spirit, body and mind to a place of healing and the prospect of joy, and a feeling of hope for a future.
Although loss is inevitable in this life, we must move forward, never forgetting that grieving loss is necessary to heal. Awareness of self is necessary for an open heart and mind ready to adjust to a new normal.
Today Angee is working towards a degree in nursing. She is also passionate about supporting new parents who are struggling. Her beautiful heart and regained strength are a gift to so many. Without taking the first step out of her comfort zone, and contacting me to work with a horse, she may not have regained the confidence to move forward and experience joy again. Horses truly do heal. ~*~
