SELF-AWARENESS AND THE QUEST FOR SACRED SPACE
By: Dorothy Chiotti, Canada
“Because of how much time we spend thinking about something other than the moment we are in science suggests we are running on default programs about 95% of our waking life. … psychologists believe that the majority of default programs …
are dis-empowering, self-sabotaging and limiting.”
Bruce Lipton, The Biology of Belief
are dis-empowering, self-sabotaging and limiting.”
Bruce Lipton, The Biology of Belief
When was the last time you aspired to achieve a big dream only to lose faith and abandon it for reasons you don’t understand?
Sadly, even our most noble intentions can be undermined by a lack of self-awareness. From that place of unknowing that influences all areas of our lives, including any desire we may have for creating sacred space, self-sabotage is born. There are reasons we act the way we do and believe what we believe, and often they have nothing to do with us at all. Until we step into self-awareness and begin to release the burden of old, toxic beliefs the desire for authentic sacred space, or any other worthy dream, remains elusive.
Emotional Baggage
All of us carry some form of emotional baggage. To understand what we’re dragging around it’s helpful to observe the environment, people and activities we attract. For we draw to us who and what we are and deflect who we are not. As energetic mirrors, horses can attune us to this understanding and the underlying emotions. They sense when we’re inauthentic and resist a connection with us until we’re connected to ourselves.
And that’s the challenge.
As children we behave like energy sponges and, unable to set appropriate boundaries, become an unwitting dumping ground for the dysfunction, despair and disappointment of those who influence us. The emerging field of epigenetic science also suggests we carry the energetic imprint of unresolved ancestral trauma/drama, including the emotional residue of every battle our ancestors fought; every hardship endured; every triumph celebrated, and on. It also suggests we wear the toxic traditions and prejudices that informed their experiences like a truth crippling straitjacket. How does this present? We defend the old family ways even when they don’t feel right, often to appease our elders and at the expense of our own integrity.
Add to this our own stuff accumulated day-to-day, while negotiating the world based on toxic subconscious programming, and it’s little wonder life can feel overwhelming. The clash of disruptive energies amplifies a disconnect. In our vain attempts to feel accepted and loved by family, friends and co-workers, we become exhausted appealing to their debilitating nothing-is-ever-enough dramas. Consequently, nothing is ever enough for us and we get sucked into the proverbial bottomless pit of need.
Sadly, even our most noble intentions can be undermined by a lack of self-awareness. From that place of unknowing that influences all areas of our lives, including any desire we may have for creating sacred space, self-sabotage is born. There are reasons we act the way we do and believe what we believe, and often they have nothing to do with us at all. Until we step into self-awareness and begin to release the burden of old, toxic beliefs the desire for authentic sacred space, or any other worthy dream, remains elusive.
Emotional Baggage
All of us carry some form of emotional baggage. To understand what we’re dragging around it’s helpful to observe the environment, people and activities we attract. For we draw to us who and what we are and deflect who we are not. As energetic mirrors, horses can attune us to this understanding and the underlying emotions. They sense when we’re inauthentic and resist a connection with us until we’re connected to ourselves.
And that’s the challenge.
As children we behave like energy sponges and, unable to set appropriate boundaries, become an unwitting dumping ground for the dysfunction, despair and disappointment of those who influence us. The emerging field of epigenetic science also suggests we carry the energetic imprint of unresolved ancestral trauma/drama, including the emotional residue of every battle our ancestors fought; every hardship endured; every triumph celebrated, and on. It also suggests we wear the toxic traditions and prejudices that informed their experiences like a truth crippling straitjacket. How does this present? We defend the old family ways even when they don’t feel right, often to appease our elders and at the expense of our own integrity.
Add to this our own stuff accumulated day-to-day, while negotiating the world based on toxic subconscious programming, and it’s little wonder life can feel overwhelming. The clash of disruptive energies amplifies a disconnect. In our vain attempts to feel accepted and loved by family, friends and co-workers, we become exhausted appealing to their debilitating nothing-is-ever-enough dramas. Consequently, nothing is ever enough for us and we get sucked into the proverbial bottomless pit of need.
Power to Change
When we have the courage to shine a light into the dark crevices of our subconscious and poke around at the old survival mechanisms, we give ourselves the power to change our behaviour. Self-awareness is the only way to start healing and integrating a more dynamic way of life. The will to thrive must be stronger than our survival programming if we wish to manifest our purest intentions. In an effort to maintain the status quo the embattled ego will find excuses to hang on to old survival patterns. Our responsibility is to nurture it to thrive.
There are three key areas in which we need to raise our self-awareness:
Self-awareness ensures integrity behind the intention of creating authentic sacred space. Still, there are some threats to ponder:
Wake-up!
How does the journey begin? A family death, job loss, or serious personal illness, etc. often provide the impetus. I was 32 when the death of my maternal grandmother gave me a cosmic wake-up call. Within eight months I quit my public relations gig and followed a life-long dream of working with horses via an intense 18-month equestrian coaching internship. Without realizing it my healing journey had begun.
When we have the courage to shine a light into the dark crevices of our subconscious and poke around at the old survival mechanisms, we give ourselves the power to change our behaviour. Self-awareness is the only way to start healing and integrating a more dynamic way of life. The will to thrive must be stronger than our survival programming if we wish to manifest our purest intentions. In an effort to maintain the status quo the embattled ego will find excuses to hang on to old survival patterns. Our responsibility is to nurture it to thrive.
There are three key areas in which we need to raise our self-awareness:
- Personal ~ the internal realm … What subconscious dramas/traumas linger that inflict themselves on our outer world?
- Intimate ~ the immediate space between us and others … How do these dramas/traumas manifest during personal interactions? What gets triggered? (Indignation/injustice; defensiveness/fear of rejection; etc.) Who pulls the trigger?
- Environmental ~ the outer world … What personal drama/trauma is projected into, and reflected back to us, in our surroundings?
Self-awareness ensures integrity behind the intention of creating authentic sacred space. Still, there are some threats to ponder:
- Fear ~ Creating sacred space requires a shift from the lower vibration of fear to the higher vibration of faith. We do this by boldly exploring the dark void where our personal monsters lurk; making peace with them and then letting them go.
- Lack of intention/commitment ~ If the intention is to generate sacred space we must be prepared to release everything that doesn’t support our desire to be authentic and thrive.
- Lack of self-awareness ~ Only by identifying the root of our dis-ease can it be plucked out. Acknowledging anger, frustration, grief, sadness and depression as by-products of deeply held pain needing an exit strategy is key. i.e. What past/ancestral stories still influence how we treat ourselves, others and the environment? Awareness of the stories and buried emotions that shape us creates room for the healing process to unfold.
- Doubt/weakness ~ It takes courage, strength and a sense of humour to get real with ourselves. Appropriate support as well as the desire to be you are important to having true oversight of the healing journey.
Wake-up!
How does the journey begin? A family death, job loss, or serious personal illness, etc. often provide the impetus. I was 32 when the death of my maternal grandmother gave me a cosmic wake-up call. Within eight months I quit my public relations gig and followed a life-long dream of working with horses via an intense 18-month equestrian coaching internship. Without realizing it my healing journey had begun.
Mucking Metaphor
An appropriate metaphor that surfaced during the internship was that of mucking a horse’s stall. This seemingly unappealing, mundane task became a meditation enabling me to engage in the sacred process of clearing and revitalizing space in a holistic way. A soiled stall cleared one pitchfork load at a time creates a healthy living space for the horse. Similarly, the healing journey is a continuous mindful gathering up and disposing of the old to make room for the new.
To cite a personal example, as a child I adopted the practice of invisibility to avoid negative attention. If no one could see me no one could hurt me. As I grew to adulthood, this well practiced, fear-based survival mechanism interfered with my ability to thrive. Years of personal work, including cognitive therapy and equine experiential learning have helped me to look at this piece of emotional baggage and engage in the ongoing methodical process of unpacking it.
Six Steps
The mucking metaphor highlights six steps to establishing authentic sacred space. With each dig of the proverbial pitchfork we give ourselves the opportunity for:
As an experiential exercise, a horse nearby can provide immediate feedback. For instance, one day my own horse Sophi, was in her stall with me as I mucked it. At one point she began digging at a pile of reusable straw I’d cleared into a corner. It was an uncharacteristic practice so I felt into it for a moment. When I realized she was showing me how my busy thoughts were looking for problems where none existed, she stopped digging and turned to acknowledge me. Her feedback gave me immediate permission to let go of the mill of thoughts running through my head, and I relaxed.
Horses can teach us to be present and more fully engaged with life in many profound ways. With the mucking metaphor we’re offered another experiential way to identify, meditate upon, and purge the default programming that perpetuates our self-sabotaging ways. Once we’ve made a commitment to release toxic behavioural patterns and nurture our authenticity, the sacred space of our dreams has room to create itself.~*~
An appropriate metaphor that surfaced during the internship was that of mucking a horse’s stall. This seemingly unappealing, mundane task became a meditation enabling me to engage in the sacred process of clearing and revitalizing space in a holistic way. A soiled stall cleared one pitchfork load at a time creates a healthy living space for the horse. Similarly, the healing journey is a continuous mindful gathering up and disposing of the old to make room for the new.
To cite a personal example, as a child I adopted the practice of invisibility to avoid negative attention. If no one could see me no one could hurt me. As I grew to adulthood, this well practiced, fear-based survival mechanism interfered with my ability to thrive. Years of personal work, including cognitive therapy and equine experiential learning have helped me to look at this piece of emotional baggage and engage in the ongoing methodical process of unpacking it.
Six Steps
The mucking metaphor highlights six steps to establishing authentic sacred space. With each dig of the proverbial pitchfork we give ourselves the opportunity for:
- Recognition ~ Identifying a toxic emotion enables us to begin to recognize it for what it is ~ the unhealthy residue of a past trauma or drama that needs to be processed and purged.
- Separation ~ Having recognized the toxic emotion we can separate it from our “dis-“comfort zone and mindfully examine what’s behind it.
- Examination/Process ~ Asking key questions is crucial. i.e. Does a toxic relationship need to be ended? Is forgiveness involved? Does a bad habit/negative life pattern need to be changed? Does an ancestral trauma need to be released? It’s worth noting that the source of our dis-ease can be deeper and heavier than we imagine, requiring appropriate qualified help to process.
- Disposal ~ Once the root of our dis-ease is identified, examined and processed we need to dispose of it. This isn’t a one-time thing. Much like the daily mucking of a stall, we must be attentive to clearing and releasing mindfully, and regularly, the back-up of negative emotions, before they get triggered. The more practiced we become at self-awareness, the easier the process and the more authentic our sacred space.
- Composting ~ Properly disposed of organic waste breaks down to become the very ingredients needed to fertilize new growth. This is true of our emotional waste. The old stories and feelings we process, release and compost become the fertile bed of wisdom that supports the ongoing journey.
- Replenishing ~ Filling the void with fresh perspective is vital. Reading good books, meditating, embracing new, open-hearted friends, listening to inspiring talks or music, etc. helps, along with our growing trove of wisdom, to establish the nurturing foundation for our sacred space.
As an experiential exercise, a horse nearby can provide immediate feedback. For instance, one day my own horse Sophi, was in her stall with me as I mucked it. At one point she began digging at a pile of reusable straw I’d cleared into a corner. It was an uncharacteristic practice so I felt into it for a moment. When I realized she was showing me how my busy thoughts were looking for problems where none existed, she stopped digging and turned to acknowledge me. Her feedback gave me immediate permission to let go of the mill of thoughts running through my head, and I relaxed.
Horses can teach us to be present and more fully engaged with life in many profound ways. With the mucking metaphor we’re offered another experiential way to identify, meditate upon, and purge the default programming that perpetuates our self-sabotaging ways. Once we’ve made a commitment to release toxic behavioural patterns and nurture our authenticity, the sacred space of our dreams has room to create itself.~*~
